4/05/2012

Great Scott!

Story Sent in by Ann:

Ben worked in research and development for a large engineering company. He found me on a dating website and came across as a bit of a dork, but he was funny and had a lot to say. He offered to take me to a really nice restaurant at the top of a city building. First date went great. I insisted on splitting the check with him, and he asked me out for a second date, this time to a museum, lunch, and a movie. It was also great.

Third date, he planned something a bit different. He said that he was working on a "fun project" in his parents' backyard, just outside of town. We drove out there (separately) and he led me to the backyard, where, under a giant tarp, he had what amounted to a port-o-potty strapped to an old dryer, with some wires sticking out of both of them. I should also mention that he had four large speakers set up on stands in each corner of the yard, facing the "device." Wires ran from the speakers into the house and also to the machine.

"Behold the time machine," he said, "Step inside."

I laughed. "Are you serious? No thanks."

"Please," he said, sinking to his knees, "It is sooooo much fun. I promise you that you'll love it. I wouldn't ask you to do it unless I had tested it out and known it was safe."

I said, "Why don't you do it first and show me?"

Without a word, he stepped past me, climbed into the toilet, and closed the door behind him. It shook a bit, back and forth, although I'm pretty sure it's because he was making it shake. Then, through all four speakers, Huey Lewis's Back in Time blasted, nearly knocking me over with the volume of it.

I banged on the bathroom door and yelled for Ben. "Okay! That's enough! Come on out!" The door was locked. I banged and banged, and after the song ended, it started up again. I knocked a few more times, then sat down on his back stoop to wait for him to emerge. After I waited about five minutes, he didn't, and so I left.

He never contacted me again. I wonder where in time he ended up.

8 comments:

  1. I'd like to think that he got trapped in the porta-potty but you couldn't hear his frantic cries for help over the high volume of his music. Hell of a way to go...

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  2. OMG! He actually built a Chron-O-John (from Day of the Tentacle)!

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  3. Normally I'd make a comment but I seem to be a comment killer and not many write after me and that makes me sad.

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  4. Thats because you would put every comment after you to shame and we all know it.

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  5. Rebuttal story: I went on two pretty good dates with a nice girl, but on the third date it turned out she didn't like Huey Lewis. That was that.

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  6. I LOVE that song! The whole porta-potty thing not so much.

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  7. Maybe he really did go back in time. We could be living on an alternate timeline right now! That's why I get so much dejavu

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