4/09/2012

A Glass House Is Not a Home

Story Sent in by Pamela:

My first date with Dave went well. We had dinner and drinks, and gave each other a big hug and fumbled kiss at the end of it.

Everything seemed fine until he called, two days later. He said, "You don't need to keep texting me. I was planning to call you."

I hadn't texted him at all. In fact, this particular phone call was the first interaction we had had since the date, and I reminded him of that. He wasn't moved. "Yeah," he said, "All of these texts is a little excessive. I was definitely planning to call you back."

I repeated the truth: I hadn't texted him once. In fact, after a couple minutes of this back-and-forth, I asked him, "If you're not interested in going out again, you can say so instead of making this up."

Then he instantly became apologetic (while not admitting that he had lied about anything): "I'm so sorry! I definitely want to see you again. Let's just pretend that this never happened. Oh, I mean, of course I want to see you again..."

Perhaps he had confused me with someone else. It was no secret that we were both in the dating scene. He apologized over and over, and I made it clear (once more) that I hadn't texted him at all.

"Sure, no problem," he said, "I want to see you again."

See me again he did, the following Thursday. We went bowling, saw a movie, and had dinner together. We made out for a little bit in his car, and then the date was over. It went well, I thought.

He called me two days later. "I can't do this," he said, "It's like you're obsessed with me. All these phone calls and texts? Come on."

I hadn't texted him once or called him. I said, "Not this again. Double check your call logs. I think you'd know it if I called you. It would be, you know, me on the phone."

"Stop calling me non-stop," he said, "I mean it."

I was done. "You'll never hear from me again." I hung up.

He called me right back and I let it go to voicemail. He called me again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Close to 50 messages and texts, all told. They finally tapered out after about two weeks.

8 comments:

  1. You ignored the red flags where he was saying all the crap about the texts after the first date. He was either passive-aggressively messing with you (likely) or mistaken (which just makes him a dumbass). Either way, he is not really a suitable mate. Yet, you choose to reward him by going out and making out with him, seemingly expecting different results.

    Yeah, I'd say you pretty much set yourself up for this...

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  2. Oh my god. Your story reminds me of a similar case that I had. I met a guy at an after party one night. We made out, he got my number, I went home, and end of story. I didn’t hear from him but didn’t really expect to, so life went on and I started dating someone else. A month went by and he called out of the blue. He called to let me know that he’d be out at the bar (where my friends and I went) and that he’d probably be hitting on other women and didn’t want me to feel insecure or jealous. EXCUSE ME? Even to this day I’ve never met anyone with THAT big of an ego. I agree with the other commentator. It’s all about manipulation, and the guy feeling insecure himself.

    I’ve been in relationships that are like that too. The other person pulls some bs out of their ass – accusing you of this and that. I actually had an ex who accused me of not loving him enough, and then after I tried talking to him about it and expressing how much I did care about him, he accused me of loving him too much. Suddenly I was needy and stressed him out! I’ve completely lost my patience for people like this.

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  3. Is that why you and Russel broke up?

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank you...I'd throw it into you, Carmen!

      Delete
  5. This confuses me to no end. Drugs?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think this guy needs to meet up with flash light girl:
    http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2011/08/this-little-light-of-mine.html

    ReplyDelete

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