3/22/2012

Why the First Edition Is So Sought-After

Story Sent in by Sylvia:

Henry and I met at a book club. He spoke to me often, before and after group discussions. After one club meeting, he asked me out on a date for a forthcoming evening.

On the days leading up to our date, he'd call to chat and to repeatedly insist that I bring a copy of the latest book we were reading, so that we could have a "preliminary discussion" about it. The first time he requested that I bring the book, I told him I would. But he kept reminding me to do it, and something seemed off.

The evening of our date, he brought me to a restaurant and he whipped out his copy of the book. "Give me your copy," he said, "Let's trade."

With some trepidation, I took out my copy and handed it to him. He handed me his curiously thick copy. He hurriedly placed my book in his lap, but when I opened up his copy, he said, "No! Wait–!" but it was too late. I opened it and discovered painstakingly cut-and-pasted photos of nude men and women, apparently taken from magazines. On every page. Scores of them. Hundreds of them. All shapes and sizes.

After seeing about as much as I could handle, I closed it and handed it back to him. He said, "Really? You really want to give it back? Fine, I guess."

He handed me my book back and I passed his back to him. I didn't say a word to address it, and he didn't bring it up again, either. In fact, neither of us said much of anything through dinner, and from then on at the book club, he avoided me.

10 comments:

  1. This was before you even ordered dinner. So you stayed to eat because...?

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    1. Jason, she also said she closed the book "after seeing about as much as [she] could handle." Clearly it took her the entire meal to get to that point. She wanted to give Henry a chance before writing him off as a perv, so obviously that necessitated a thorough perusal of his porn collection over drinks and appetizers. ;-)

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    2. This story is much better when I assume there's about a 30-minute lag before it gets handed back.

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  2. Normally people show their dates picture of their own genitalia. Naked strangers? That's just gross.

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  3. I'm with Jason, why would she stay??

    Jared, will you PLEASE add a "Dinner Wh0re" label for stories like this??? Thx...

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    Replies
    1. For all the times when you feel like reading stories about dinner whores and only stories about dinner whores?

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    2. We prefer to be addressed as "dinner users of hormonal birth control."

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  4. Hey cutie! Want to join my "book club" (hint, hint, wink, wink)....

    The world is full of WACKOS.

    Think how long it would take to cut and paste all those pictures?

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    Replies
    1. ...it didn't take that long at all, actually, I used a glue gun...and...err...nevermind.

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