3/16/2012

Stressed Out and About

Story Sent in by Leigh:

Eric and I had spoken over a dating site, on and off, for about two months. We finally arranged a date and met up in a public square on a Friday.

I arrived there first, and when he showed, he said, "Great to finally meet you."

I smiled. "You too."

He asked, "How was your day?"

I replied, "Busy. I had to stay a half hour later at work."

"Sounds stressful."

"It was, but now it's the weekend, so—"

"You know what's really good at relieving stress? Sex."

I laughed. "I've heard that."

He laughed, too. "Yeah! Sex. Want some?"

I said, "Not right now."

"But later?"

I took a small step back and did a mental calculation of how fast I could make it back to my car. "Not tonight, but—"

He said, "But you just said you were stressed. Now you're saying that you prefer stress to no stress. That's what I'm hearing."

"There are other ways to relieve stress."

"None better than sex. So, you in?" His hands slipped under the bottom of his shirt and fiddled with his belt and unzipped his pants, for all appearances as if he was ready to drop his slacks and do it right there.

I said, "Not tonight, but thanks for the… offer."

He removed his hands from his pants and shrugged. "Whatever. Your choice to be stressed. Me, though? I plan to have some sex."

I took another step back. "Yeah. I'm going to head home."

He said, "Maybe you should. I mean, to say you're stressed, then saying you like being stressed, talk about mixed messages!"

I fake-smiled. "I know, right?"

"I'm just a plain speaker. I like things that make sense."

"You seem that way. Goodnight."

I made it back to my car and drove home to take a bubble bath. For the rest of that night, every moment I spent away from Eric was better than sex.

5 comments:

  1. ...then Eric went home and wrote in his Facebook page: I don't get it - why don't women appreciate honesty? I guess nice guys finish last. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hate people who claim to be "plain speakers" or "straight talkers", usually that means asshole with no verbal filter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "No offense, but [something incredibly offensive]."

      Delete
    2. Then after the person is offended:

      "Hey, I said 'No offense'! Geez..."

      Delete
  3. You guys always say what I'm thinking. :)

    ReplyDelete

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