3/14/2012

Shoe Fly

Story Sent in by Melissa:

Dorian and I were out to dinner together on a first date, and the conversation was going well enough. He barely made any kind of eye contact with me, but I chalked it up to nervousness on his part.

We had just finished talking about a job as a retail sales clerk that he had quit a year ago when he reached under the table, fiddled around, and put his brown shoe in between us, right on the table.

He looked up at me, as if for some sort of approval. I said, "That's kind of gross. Could you take it off the table?"

He said, "Would you rather I took my pants off and put them on the table? They're next." He winked.

I repeated, "Please take your shoe off the table."

He said, "You're saying that you want me to take my pants off and put them on the table, then? Woo hoo, that's two for two dates in which the girl's wanted me to take my pants off."

I replied, "I can't imagine anyone wanting you to remove any clothes on a first date, let alone at all. Take your shoe off the table, or I leave."

He smirked at me and sat back. His shoe remained on the table.

I wiped my mouth with my napkin, said, "Thanks for dinner," and left. No word from him since.

7 comments:

  1. Krushchev - The Dating Years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. exactly.

      steve, bringing knowledge to the abcotds comments 2012.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoe-banging_incident

      Delete
  2. +1 Agnes.

    OP, your handling of the idiot was pretty much perfect. Polite, yet firm, and you left as soon as it became clear it wasn't just an awkward attempt at a joke. You're awesome.

    It's really incredible though how idiotic some people can be. I mean, really? Putting your shoe on the table? *rolls eyes*

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a heel!
    He has no sole!
    That's one way to defeet your date!
    He didn't toe the line on this chick

    ReplyDelete
  4. Maybe he was expecting Dubya to stop by.

    ReplyDelete
  5. She should have let him go through with it. The fun of watching a dude with no pants on get kicked out of a restaurant would be one for the ages.

    ReplyDelete

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