3/23/2012

Do You See Me?

Story Sent in by Yosef:

I had what I'd call a successful first two dates with Shelly. They went well enough for some kissing and the promise of a third date. I arranged for us to go apple picking, and she seemed very excited about it.

The picking of apples went well. However, I noticed that Shelly was... I guess the best way to say it would be that she was pretty clingy. At one point, she said, in a serious tone, "I don't want to turn away from you, because then you wouldn't be in my line of vision, and you'd disappear forever."

I smiled and replied, "I don't think that's how it works."

She said, "It does, today. Today will be the rest of my life."

That was strange, but then she took my arm and rested her head on my shoulder. I appreciated the affection, but it made it hard to walk, as she was leaning on me with most of her weight. I hugged her for several moments, then asked if she wanted to continue on, into the grove. She said that she did, and goodness knows that I tried, but she hung on me like a sack of potatoes.

I gingerly tried to lift her off of me, but that only inspired her to lean on me even more. Finally, I pulled away and said, "Is everything all right?"

She nodded and said, "I don't even want to blink. You might not be here when my eyes open again." She touched my face, and I felt a few goosebumps, but not the pleasant kind.

When we finally emerged from the trees, we paid for the apples and returned to my car. I put the apple bag in back, and Shelly walked to the front of my car, lay down on her back on the ground, in front of the wheels, and remained there.

Curious, I asked, "What are you doing?"

She said, "I never want to leave here. We'll disappear if we do. Let's just stay here."

Other visitors in the parking lot were giving us looks. I knelt next to Shelly and, for the following five minutes, tried everything I could to convince her to move. "Let's do lunch," "Let's go do something else together," "We have to leave here eventually," etc.

Finally, I had an idea. I stepped away from her and circled around to the back of the car and said, "I'm not in your line of vision anymore, am I?"

She gasped, stood up, and embraced me behind the car. A few tears were shed (on her part). We climbed into the car and I drove away from the orchard. On the road, she complained multiple times and loudly that she was tired. I suggested that I return her to her home so that she could take a nap, and that's what I did, although she promised about 100 times that she'd call me later on that day to arrange something for the evening.

She called me and left a voicemail: "I don't see you, so you're dead, I guess."

I guess.

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