1/09/2012

Sweet Cuppin' Cakes!

Story Sent in by Seth:

On my first date dinner with Margot, she handed me a little plastic container with a vanilla cupcake within it.

"I made it for you," she said.

"Thank you!" I said, "Is it okay if I save it until after dinner?"

She stuck her hand out to me. "Give it here." I gave her a quizzical look, and she went on, "I'll hold onto it."

"I won't forget it. I'll keep it right here," I said, and I put it next to me in the booth.

She shook her hand closer to me and said, "Let me just have it back. Just for a second."

Confused, I handed it back to her. She ripped open the container, stuffed the entire cupcake in her mouth, and said, "Mmmm! Yeah, that's good! Good, good, good, good, good!"

"Why would you do that?" I asked her, disappointed that homemade cupcake goodness would not be mine.

She said, "That was a great cupcake! Probably my best, ever. It was really tasty."

I shrugged. It was what it was. She was crazy. For the rest of dinner, it was rare that she would talk about anything other than the cupcake.

I asked, "What are you ordering?"

She replied, "I'd order another delicious cupcake, but I doubt that any that I'd order would be as delicious as the one I just had!"

"You're taking on a big, new project at work, right? Tell me about it."

"I just can't get over how tasty that freakin' cupcake was! Oh my God. It was sublime."

"You're acting like an idiot."

"An idiot with a delicious cupcake in her stomach."

During every conversational lull, she would talk about how tasty the cupcake was, how I had missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime event, and how she doubted that she would ever be able to bake such an amazing cupcake again.

Finally, I said, "Can you shut up?"

That shut her up for about two minutes. Then, she said, "Do you like my hair? It's my natural color."

Her hair was a little under shoulder-length and blonde. "Yes. I like it."

"Oh my God, that cupcake was phenomenal."

I made sure that we split the check. As we said goodbye outside the place, she said, "I'm going home to make more cupcakes. More cupcakes forever! I'd rather do that than stay out with you!"

"You must lead a very sad and lonely life. You have my pity. Good night."

Never saw her again.

14 comments:

  1. Somehow I get the feeling that more happened than just the OP asking if he could eat the cupcake later. I would love to hear a rebuttal.

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  2. That is my favorite Strong Bad video.

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  3. Wow, it's been so long since I watched any Homestar Runner, which video are you talking about?

    This story, I do not believe it. I hope there was more to it than this.

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  4. I don't think I've ever said this before, but WHY did you stay on the date? Seriously? I mean OK, she ate the cupcake and I would have let that go, but after the first 50 references to it I'm pretty sure I would have realised she was rude, immature and annoying. I'm a rude, immature and annoying girl myself and I know that the limit is 49 references to the bitch thing I did at the start of the date.

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    1. How long have you been reading the site? A day? If it's any longer, and THIS is the story that made you wonder about the sanity of someone staying on a bad date for too long, then...wow. You'll tolerate just about anything except people who mention something 50+ times.

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  5. Nah, Lime, I hope this is exactly how it happened, because that would make her an immature jerk who got absurdly offended that he wanted to eat it later. I like being able to judge people easily and with clear conscience. :)

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  6. Ok it would have been better if the OP left but maybe he thought he would go on for a minute or so and then give it up. Anw at least this guy was answering back and not being a pushover

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  7. That girl has the most annoying way of speaking. "It was really tasty!" What is she, four? Who talks like that??

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  8. Oh I think her foray into the land of the four year old happened way before the word tasty.

    I've been reading this site so much, my first thought when the story started was to be worried that the cupcake was poisoned in some way. I was a little relieved when it went into toddler land instead.

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  9. Somebody needs to take a good healthy dosage of Vitamin B-Mature!

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  10. This was one of my favorite bad dates, I had to read it several times.

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  11. The op was clearly annoyed... instead of being a fed up with the situation grump ... just leave.... sounds to me like he wanted to be annoyed....but then again.. that's not hard with a date like that.

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  12. Now I wanna bake cupcakes. And my cupcakes will be better than hers BY FAR HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

    Woo...

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