1/12/2012

A Shoulder to Cry On

Story Sent in by Sean:

One dusk, I had just arrived at a restaurant at which I had planned to meet Hannah for our first date when she called to tell me that her car was stuck on the side of the road. I asked her where she was, she told me, and I drove out to see if I could help her.

"I'm really sorry," she said when I arrived. It smelled like burning motor oil, and her car wouldn't start. "It just died."

"Don't worry about it," I said. I know a little bit about cars, but not enough to dig around inside her hood without the aid of a mechanic. I asked, "Do you have AAA?"

She raised an eyebrow at me and said, "Uh, why would I need to do that? You're here. Can't you fix it?"

I replied, "It could be anything. It's dark out. I'd call roadside assistance."

"That's why I called you. You're a guy. You're telling me that you can't fix this?"

"I don't think I can. I'll wait with you while you wait for a tow–"

"I'm not calling a tow truck!" she snapped, "That's humiliating. I'm calling another of my guy friends who actually knows how to be a man and fix things."

She dialed a number on her phone. I said, "Not every guy knows how to fix every car problem."

"This isn't 'every car problem.' This is my car problem, and you being here is not helping me at all."

I said, "Okay. Bye." I left.

Not a minute after I had rode away, she called me up. I picked up the phone. She yelled, "Okay, so you're just leaving me here, now? Are you a man at all?"

I said, "You said that me being there wasn't helpful."

"That doesn't mean that you just desert me! I'm alone on the side of the road in the dark! Do I have to tell you how to be a man from pissing standing up, onward?"

I said, "As long as I can teach you the womanly compassion and empathy that you seem to lack. We can have a trade."

She hung up on me, then called me again a moment later. I didn't pick up. I hope that she finally found a real man to help her out that night.

17 comments:

  1. Oh yeah ,I saw this on the news. This was that woman who left a message for her mother explaining how she'd been left at the roadside by some bloke, told her answerphone the whole story. Then three days later, was found in a culvert in pieces, many of which displayed human bite marks. The pieces were also covered in poo. And Justin Bieber was playing on a loop on a nearby iPod. In the rain. And cold.

    Yeah, you get the idea with that.

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    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure you just recapped the pilot episode of "Grimm" (with some poetic license).

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  2. Sounds like the engine overheated, perhaps due to being low on coolant. You could have "pissed standing up" into her radiator, and then followed her to the Motel 6 so she could show you her gratitude.

    At least that's what a REAL MAN would have done...

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  3. I've found that women who use the term "REAL man" have absolutely no clue what one is.

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  4. ^^ I agree 100% bohdi. It always amuses me when women try going that route though. Pure manipulation towards insecure guys. I'm glad OP had a backbone about it.

    A REAL man wouldn't be manipulated so easily by a crazy, entitled beotch...

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  5. bodhi: it's called projection and it's the reason behind the saying, "an empty can rattles the most"...

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  6. I bet there's a lot of women who can pee standing up too.

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    Replies
    1. They can if they get one of these.

      http://www.go-girl.com/

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    2. I've always wanted one of those! I dislike public restrooms. :P

      ...and I have gender issues.

      Delete
  7. While the woman is no doubt in the wrong and I agree with you guys, I do agree with this one bit Hannah says:
    "Okay, so you're just leaving me here, now? Are you a man at all?"
    Yes, a real man would have waited until help arrived. Sure, he needn't actually *help* her and could simply wait in the warm and comfort of his own car while she raged unreasonably down the phone outside, but he should have made sure that she was safe until help arrived none-the-less.

    It reminds me of an old story I read once in Gumtree (of all places). As they were leaving a shop, a man opened the door and held it open for the woman behind him.
    The woman looked at the man with scorn and said "Do you think I need someone to open a door of me just because I'm a lady?"
    The man simply replied "No, I'm opening the door for you because I'm a gentleman."

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    1. Sorry, no. A real man doesn't put up with repeated verbal abuse from a woman he barely knows just so he can prove that he does, in fact, have testicles and a penis attached to his groinal area. A real man is smart enough to not deal with the twisted, shriveled little shrew.

      Delete
    2. I don't get it. Why should he help her? She's obviously got an entitlement complex which makes her a horrible human being, so the standard code of chivalrous behavior does not apply. Sure, it's dangerous by the side of the road, and sure, bad things can happen out there, but the minute Hannah started treating Sean like her personal servant instead of a person all those concerns stopped being his responsibility. In fact, once Hannah observes a direct correlation between her personal safety and how she treats others, it may motivate her to shape up and become a better person. So from the larger perspective (ie, what benefits SOCIETY rather than what benefits Hannah), Sean actually did a good thing by abandoning her.

      Delete
    3. Nice 'gentlemen' story, might have to use that sometime!

      However, you dont wait on the side of the road with strangers you dont give a damn about. Thats what her friends and family are for.

      Real men dont put up with abuse from girls they arn't shagging...

      Delete
    4. *shrug* I guess it all boils down to personal opinion and how each individual defines a "real man". To me, this story is no different to offering one's seat to the elderly or holding a door open for a stranger? My idea of acting as a "real man" is doing what I feel is the right thing to do regardless of how others (even the person I'm directly affecting) thinks, says or feels about me for it.

      Of course, then we get to open a whole new can of worms called 'What is "the right thing"?'

      Delete
  8. Hannah's pretty sexist. Jerk.

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  9. I like that you started the story with the word "dusk." It never gets used any more.

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