1/06/2012

Public Privates

Story Sent in by Ginger:

I was out to dinner on my first date with Jonathan. I noticed that during conversational pauses, his hands dropped below the table and he stared at me with a sultry smile.

"What is it?" I finally asked him.

He glanced down and said, "Has anyone ever told you that you make them want to touch themselves?"

"Oh, God!" I shifted my seat back amidst the nausea.

His hands shot out from under the table and he reached across it, toward me. "No! Don't go. I'm sorry. I meant it as a compliment."

I whispered, "What the hell are you doing, touching yourself? We're in a public place!"

He said, "We're not in a public place. This restaurant is privately owned. Relax."

"But we're out in public! You don't touch yourself among strangers."

He sighed as if I had just handed him a major disappointment. "Fine. I won't do it anymore. I'm sorry. I really thought you'd take it as a compliment."

"I don't."

"Clearly."

We had spoken online for a while before we met, and this was the first indication that something was really wrong with him. I convinced myself to put it out of my head, provided that the rest of the date went well.

His hands remained above the table, but there he went again with the stare and smile. I asked him all sorts of questions to try and bury that gross-out situation, but when he started doing this weird sort of slow seduction back-and-forth motion with his body, I couldn't take it anymore.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He said, "I'm not touching myself."

"But what's with the sultry rocking?"

He said, "I'm imagining myself touching myself. You wouldn't believe how effective it is." He smiled. "You've almost sent me to climax, over here."

I stood up. He asked, "Where are you going? I'm obeying you. I'm not touching myself. It's not a crime for me to think about it. You trying to control what I think, now?"

"This isn't working," I said.

He stood up. "Please sit down. I'm sorry. I promise I won't touch myself or think about touching myself anymore. Just sit back down. Please."

"Jonathan, I can't. I–"

He gave me a tight hug. I pushed him off of myself and left, then and there. I had never done anything like that before, and my head was swimming as I returned home.

I checked his profile not too long afterward, and he had added the line, "What I'm really after is a woman who can take a compliment. A girl flew off the handle at me recently because I called her attractive!"

If that's a compliment, then I can do without such compliments forever.

6 comments:

  1. Yeah, and stalking is just another form of flattery.

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  2. This guy thinks of rape as "surprise sex".

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  3. Why would she stay after he was masturbating at the table?

    @Baku-chan, I'm sure he loves surprise sex.

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  4. I don't get it either why she stayed past that first second when she realized that he was touching himself right then and there. She still tried to be understanding. Really? Of this major red flag?? What could possibly redeem this fellow after this?

    This is very much the kind of deviation not to be tolerant about.

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  5. And ejaculating over your dinner is just his way of saying "Nice to have met you!"

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  6. As a general rule, if you wouldn't say it in front of your parents, it's not a compliment you should give a stranger.

    ReplyDelete

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