Story Sent in by Jason:
Eva and I had been on a couple of dates, and for our third date, I planned to take her out to a planetarium show and then out to a night picnic. However, she fell ill a day before the date, and so she called me to postpone.
I felt bad for her, and I decided to pick her up some flowers. Not a huge bouquet, but just something thoughtful.
I was in touch with her over the following day or two to see if she needed anything, and once she seemed to be on the mend, it seemed safe to pay her a surprise visit.
I arrived at her place and rang the bell. She came to the door and her eyes lit up when she saw me. Then she saw the flowers.
"What the—you bought me flowers?"
"Yes. Just a little get well present."
She shivered, and I thought for a moment that she was going to buckle in half. "Oh my God... you bought me flowers..." she shivered more, then started to cry.
"It was really nothing," I said, "I just want you to feel better."
"What?" She wiped her eyes. "This isn't me being grateful. You killed these harmless flowers for me?"
"Huh? I—I bought them at a florist."
"You bought dead flowers for me?"
"You're supporting the murder of defenseless flowers. Did you know that?"
It hadn't occurred to me. She went on, "These were growing in a field somewhere or else forced to grow in a nursery somewhere, and then at their most beautiful, a flower killer came in and cut them away."
"I'm sorry, Eva. I really didn't know that you felt so strongly about flowers."
"They're living things!" she said, "It's like killing any other living thing! If you don't have any guilt about being complicit in the face of flower murder, then how will you take it when someone close to you is murdered?"
Before I could reply, she said, "Say 'I'm sorry' to the flowers."
I replied, "They're dead. They can't hear me. Plus, they're flowers."
"Apologize to them!"
She shoved me out of her house and slammed the door in my face. I gave the flowers to another friend of mine. She was very grateful for them and it helped to strengthen our friendship, I guess, so the whole thing wasn't a total loss. I never spoke to Eva again.