1/21/2012

Although I've Since Been Bent into Thirds

Story Sent in by Barry:

It wasn't my date with Elena that went wrong. It was the aftermath. I met her online, all seemed fine, we went out to a museum and then dinner. She had a great laugh, we both talked quite a bit, and just after we hugged goodbye, I slipped in a, "I'd like to see you again."

She replied, "You bet your ass you are," and we went on our separate ways. A hug was as far as I got, but I still felt great, and I couldn't wait to see her again.

A day later, I called her and left her a message that was something like, "Hey Elena, I had a great time with you. I have some ideas for what we can do next week, if you're around."

About a week passed from when I left that message, and there was no response from her. Guessing that she didn't have as good a time as I thought she did, I wrote her an email that essentially said, "Hi Elena. I hope that you're well. If you ever want to meet again, then let me know."

No response for a day, and then I received the following message:

"Barry: Do NOT keep contacting me. My boyfriend was able to tell that there was something wrong, and I told him that you tried to make me cheat on him. What you were thinking, I'll never know, but it was all I could do to not tell him where you live. Because you contacted me again, I'm giving him your email address. I hope that he's merciful to you."

A day later, the following arrived from an email address I didn't recognize:

"How about if I find you and bend you in half for taking my girlfriend out you piece of shit?"

I didn't respond and hoped that it would all blow over. It's been a year since then, and no one has so far come to bend me in half.

13 comments:

  1. If I was you, I would have sent him the email exchanges from when you two set up the date.

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    Replies
    1. I'm with Baku on the follow up action for this one, if I accept that the boyfriend exists anyway. It doesn't make sense to be mad at someone for "taking my girlfriend out" - how about be mad at the girlfriend for going on a date? But then, people do stuff that doesn't make sense all the time, most of them on this website, so he's probably real :\

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    2. Should have replied OP, would have been hilarious. Also if she could have told her boyfriend where you lived I have to assume you told a stranger on the internet where you lived. Bad idea.

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  2. The most likely explanation is that she really didn't have a good time and figured that this was the best way to tell you to back off. Some folks just prefer to overcomplicate things.

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  3. You could have had all kinds of fun with that. Everything from...

    "Which boyfriend are you? Elena said she had like 4 of them"

    ...all the way to...

    "There's no need to get threatening, I don't want to see her again anyway. She wouldn't shut up all night about how her current boyfriend had a tiny dick and can't satisfy her."

    I just can't imagine wasting a perfect setup like that, it's so ripe with potential.

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    Replies
    1. Meh, too try hard. I think your "which one are you?" would have worked best. Subtle and without any obvious ill-intent.

      Having said that, I'm not sure I would have sent that email at all if I were in OP's position. Just the voice mail message would have been enough.

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  4. I tend to shy away from taunting crazy people, particularly those threatening to reshape my body into an origami masterpiece.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. My thoughts exactly.

      Far too often, I find myself exclaiming out loud, "What the fuck is WRONG with people?!" while reading the stories on this website. How I haven't started picking people off with a sniper rifle is beyond me. Somehow, I've managed to maintain my faith in the goodness of humanity, no matter how vehemently Jared tries to beat it out of me.

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  5. I'm thinking "cuckolding fetish". Words I only know to put together because of the Savage Love podcast, wow is that thing educational.

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  6. I vote for the "Which one are you?" It would have been perfect.

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  7. It bet there is no boyfriend. She probably made an email address like BigBruiser62@blahblah.com just to get rid of people she no longer wanted to deal with.

    She could be the classic dinner wh0re/ego sponge, who dates lots of guys, and dismisses them after she has no more use for them. Phase 1 is to ignore their call(s). Phase 2, should it escalate, it to pull out the fake boyfriend email.

    And WTF, why would she know your home address after 1 date?

    ReplyDelete

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