12/30/2011

Why Does My New Deodorant Smell Funny?

Story Sent in by Stephen:

Fran scratched her armpits constantly while we were out together, on a walk on our first date. It prompted me to ask her, "You okay?"

She replied, "Yeah, I just tried a new deodorant, and it's giving me a reaction."

I asked, "Want to stop at a pharmacy? We can pick up some hypoallergenic cream or something."

We went to a local chain drug store, and she led me to the deodorant aisle. She pointed to a stick on the shelf. "That's the one I tried this morning."

She then found another stick of a different brand, took it off the shelf, popped it open, and rubbed it on, under her blouse.

"What are you doing?" I asked, stunned at how matter-of-factly she was applying it.

She capped it and put it back on the shelf. She then looked at me and said, "What? I'm clean."

"That's really gross."

She asked, "Are you serious? I just want to make sure that it won't give me a reaction, like that first one." She flapped her arms up and down, then twisted her body back and forth. "I think this one's all right."

She then grabbed another stick from a different brand and did the same thing. "Just in case," she said.

I asked, "You don't think that's really unsanitary?"

She said, "Uh, no. I'm clean."

I asked, "What if someone else tested those out before you? Are you sure that they were clean?"

She replied, "No one used them. They were unspoiled. You can tell by looking at them."

She flapped her arms up and down again and asked, "Ready to go? My pits are feeling better."

The rest of the date wasn't as eventful, but I didn't ask her out again, mostly as a result of that incident.

11 comments:

  1. And here I was wondering why some pharmacies have the deodorant under locked, alarm-protected plastic cases.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good thing her tampon didn't give her a reaction that morning too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ew. I think I'll start buying my deodorant in the shrink wrapped 2-packs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice call Howie!

    That is shocking behavior, first date or not. When they give you such a clear reason for there to be NO second date, it makes you wonder ....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aha! So she's the one that opens the Axe pomade and puts finger gouges in it! I keeeel youuu!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dove deodorant makes my armpits itch, even though it's supposed to be moisturizing and all that shit.

    I'm glad Secret deodorant comes with a little seal on top that you have to peel off before you use it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was allergic to Dove deodorant, too. Weird.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can't do the gel deodorants anymore, they make my armpits itch like a mother, so I switched back to the powder sticks...albeit without trying them out in a store first...silly me

    ReplyDelete
  9. @rawr

    Do dinosaurs have problems with prespiration? I was completely unaware of that fact.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.