12/29/2011

Whining and Dining

Story Sent in by Daniel:

Cynthia and I were out to dinner together on our first date when, over a glass of wine, she gave me a little smile and said, "So, I have a question for you: do you pick out your own clothes, or does someone, like from the 1970s, come over and dress you?"

I was in a plain grey button-down shirt and black pants. I'm not sure what about the outfit screamed "1970s," but I found her comment rude. Holding my tongue, I replied, "I dress myself."

"Pfffft!" Cynthia actually spat out some of her wine, right onto her chin. She hadn't even had a full glass, yet. She mopped it up with her napkin and I did my best to pretend that it didn't happen. She went on, "At work, two days ago, I had a meeting with a guy from L.A. who was dressed like you. At the time I thought to myself, 'That's a ridiculous outfit,' but now that you're wearing something almost the same, it just makes things awkward, don't you think?"

I replied, "The only thing awkward is the hole you keep digging yourself into."

That wiped the little smirk off of her face. "You're a lousy date," she said, "Do you treat all women like this?"

"Like what? You insult me, I call you on it, and all of a sudden, it's my fault?"

"Jesus," she said, "Are you one of those hypersensitive guys? They went out of style in the 1970s too, you know."

She had mentioned work. It was an out. I took it. "How was work this past week?"

"Bad. I had smarmy little creeps from Los Angeles dressed like you, telling me how to do my job. Like I would take anything a smarmy little hypersensitive prick dressed like you would say seriously."

I asked, "Did this guy from your work meeting upset you? We can talk about it if you want, you know, instead of insulting me over and over."

"It's just a huge coincidence," she reasoned, "How likely is it that two different guys I'm sitting at a table with wear the same outfit in a week?"

I shrugged, unable to calculate the odds of something so mundane. I suggested, "We can talk about something other than work."

"We can talk about nothing. You remind me of him, you look like him, you sound like him. Goodbye," she said, downed the rest of her wine, and took off, just like that. I was disappointed that I had to pay for her drink, but glad that she walked out on me before we ordered any food.

11 comments:

  1. Case of Buyer's remorse, She didn't like what she saw and chose the most annoying way to get out of it. (next time consider the "emergency" call).

    Either that or she is just an entitled stuck up bitch.

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  2. ^My vote is entitled stuck up bitch

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  3. Some women flirt with guys by teasing them. You know how there are some guys so dumb that they subscribe to the playground mentality of "I'll throw rocks at the girls I like so they notice me" and then they get upset when they don't receive the desired response? I wonder if this was the female equivalent of that.

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  4. ^This wasn't teasing, though, this was flat out insulting. he went way above and beyond in trying to bear it and get her to talk about something else, and she was just a bitch, according to this story. She doesn't even seem like she excepted anything except for him to be insulted, since she didn't try to salvage anything.

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  5. If someone insults you, why stick around?

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  6. Well, the girls I know who do this generally seem a little aggressively dysfunctional. I don't understand their psychology fully because I generally keep a polite distance from them - so that they don't perceive me as either an enemy or a romantic prospect (which almost seem like similar things to them).

    Meh, it was only idle speculation. Regardless of what Cynthia's motivations were, she's a bitch either way.

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  7. Pffft, these brown plaid bell bottoms will never go out of style.

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  8. The best defense is a good offense...

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  9. and she has a name for one of the girls I never liked, ironically was a stuck up b*tch too

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  10. "So, I have a question for you: do you pick out your own clothes, or does someone, like from the 1970s, come over and dress you?"

    "Interesting question. Now here's one for you. Do you take a daily CUNT pill? Or just drop by the OB/GYN for a weekly shot of BITCH-COW"?

    Then spit in her face and dump that glass of wine over her head as you walk away forever!

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