12/14/2011

A Sticky End

Story Sent in by Sheron:

Bill and I met online and we made it as far as a first date. He took me to an Italian restaurant and had a wad of gum in his mouth about the size of half a fist. Perhaps he was trying his best to not chew it with his mouth open, but he failed at that, and it was gross.

Less than five minutes in, I had had enough of his lip smacking and chewing, and I asked him, "Would you mind finishing the gum?"

He smiled. "Why? It's still a free country, isn't it?"

"I agree, but it's just kind of interfering with… I don't know… my enjoyment of the date."

"This is me, baby," he said, "I only respect you if you respect me."

I replied, "I do respect you, but–"

He reared his head back and spat the entire wad across the table. It thwacked against my chest and fell into my lap.

I yelled, shot up, and ran for the bathroom to clean myself up. While I was in there, I heard a commotion and raised voices, one of which sounded like Bill. There was a bang, like a fist against a table, and then stomping, and then it quieted down.

Before I could exit, one of the waitresses came into the bathroom to ask me if I was okay. The manager had thrown Bill out. I said that I was fine, just a bit shaken. The manager offered to drive me home, which I thought was very generous, although I had driven there myself, so he offered to walk me out to my car.

In the parking lot, I didn't see any sign of Bill and I made a beeline right for my car. I drove away and as soon as I made it home, I blocked his account. I never heard from him again.

4 comments:

  1. I was sad when this story didn't end with you and the manager dating :-( It seemed like that's where it was going.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UGH. The people who like to say "it's a free country" always seem to be defending something retarded with the statement. I have never once heard a gay couple defend their right to hold hands with "it's a free country". Nope, it's always some guy slobbering about his rights from around a fistful of gum.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jessie Forrester maybe the manager is married :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he ain't she should go back and see about him.

      Delete

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