12/13/2011

Racquetball Is for Weirdos

Email Sent in by Betsy:

OH BETSY

OH OH OH BETSY. OH OH BETSY. OH BETSY. HELLO BETSY.

I AM JOHN, BETSY. OH BETSY. WE MET AT RACQUETBALL ONCE. YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND BUT NOW I FIND YOU ON HERE?

OH BETSY.

BETSY I AM JOHN AND I AM GLAD TO HAVE FOUND YOU ON HERE. LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF: I AM JOHN. DO YOU REMEMBER ME FROM RACQUETBALL. WE MET AT RACQUETBALL LAST YEAR. YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND AT THE TIME. MARTIN. HE AND I WORKED TOGETHER. HE AND I NO LONGER WORK TOGETHER AND YOU NO LONGER EMPLOY HIM AS YOUR BOYFRIEND. THIS IS HAPPY FOR BOTH OF US BETSY BETSY.

BETSY BETSY BETSY BETSY BETSY.

I HAVE LONG IMAGINED YOU IN MY LIFE AND NOW I FIND YOU ON THIS SITE. DO YOU STILL PLAY RACQUETBALL BETSY. OH BETSY. WE SHOULD PLAY RACQUETBALL AT THE SAME PLACE TOGETHER FOR OUR FIRST DATE AND THEN SEE MARTIN THERE OH BETSY.

BETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSYBETSY.

BETSY BETSY.

I AM JOHN. WELCOME BACK TO MY LIFE BETSY.

JOHN

8 comments:

  1. Isn't this a Loverboy song?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I would have to take that as my cue to delete my profile and never leave the house again. People are terrifying.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I AM JOHN. WELCOME BACK TO MY LIFE BETSY.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BETSY BETSY BETSY BETSY BETSY.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jacob left a couple of details unclear, and I think he could have emphasized them more. Her name was Betty... Bethilda... Betminster Fuller? And they met at tennis? Or ice skating? I'm really confused by this email. I think Jean Luc could have been a little clearer. Just a little clearer. CLEARER. CLEARER. CLEARER.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I never realized that not using all caps was such an obvious mistake of mine.

    ReplyDelete
  7. heyladyheyBETSYheyladyheylady
    I'M IN SPAAAAAACEEE
    Best at space. Betsy.

    Stay off crack kids, it leads to e-mails like this XD

    ReplyDelete
  8. The ad to the right has a picture of a man holding a tennis racket shouting, in all caps, SHOP GREAT RACKET DEALS

    When did AdSense get so good?!

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.