Email Sent in by Pamela:
Hey,
I'm Josh and I liked reading your profile. I admire anyone who can make a living in the arts. How did you fall into stage and production management? What's been your biggest challenge so far in that career?
I've been in the area for five years, but I'm still learning new things about what to do and where to go. Do you have a favorite restaurant? I like Donatello's for Italian (although when it's packed, it's louder than an elephant picnic) and Lotus Hill for Japanese. I like rolling my own sushi, so maybe I should open up my own Japanese place.
Fun fact: I would kiss you like how a starving anteater sucks clump upon juicy clump of ants into its gaping maw and swallows it all down. Just thought you should know.
Josh
6 comments:
Seems like an ex- girlfriend hacked his email account on that last paragraph. But hey, who knows, maybe he was watching an animal planet marathon for too long.
"Just thought you should know." You thought correctly! Knowledge will keep Pamela from ever experiencing the horror other than through the vivid and terrifying mental image that his prose created in my fried-by-writing-final-paper mind. I hope I don't awaken screaming from a Josh-inspired nightmare tonight. That latest zombie dream I had was nothing in comparison.
What's this guy's problem? Everyone knows aardvarks are MUCH better kissers...
Fun fact: Josh should probably stay away from "fun facts." Combining detailed animal imagery with sexual comments is NOT as attractive as some people seem to think.
For example, here are some other descriptive choices to avoid.
"I want to grip you like a koala bear; fuzzy and smelling slightly of eucalyptus leaves."
"You lure me in like an anglerfish, dark and mysterious and full of huge razor sharp fangs."
"I hunger for you like a snake hungers for a defenseless little mouse. Hiss!"
"I would ride you over mountaintops like a flying buffalo with Red Bull wings."
^ Mmmm, now I'm hungry for Buffalo Wild Wings... :-(
Pffft, most everyone knows that anteaters don't have "gaping maws". The opening of their mouth is only about the size of a pencil. And those fuckers don't even have teeth.
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