12/24/2011

One Man's Trash Is Everyone's Trash

Story Sent in by Gil:

I picked up Evangeline at her house for our first date. She looked great, in a very flattering outfit, but she also brought with her an unusual accessory: a stuffed, plastic grocery bag.

My first thought was that they were a spare pair of shoes, and I asked her as much, merely out of curiosity.

"No," she said, "It's my trash. I didn't have time to throw it out before leaving. I'll toss it in a can or dumpster or whatever we pass along the way."

Worked for me, although a little strange. I forgot all about it, and so did she. Dinner happened, and then we took a nice walk, and then we made it back to my car. It smelled like rotten garbage.

"Pugh," I said, "We forgot about your trash bag. Want to toss it?"

She said, "Yes. Drive me home and I'll take care of it."

We must have passed at least three trash bins on the very block where my car was parked. I suggested, "Why don't we bring it to a trash just outside the car? Silly to take it back home."

"I'm fine taking it home."

"Would you mind throwing it out here? I'm sorry, but it's really stinking up my car."

She yelled, "No! No, okay! I want to bring it home and home is where I'm going to bring it! Home! Home! Home! Home! Home!"

It was strange, as she had definitely previously said that she would be fine tossing it away while we were out. Her sudden turn to nastiness was so unexpected (and so loud) that it turned me a bit nasty, myself. I grabbed the trash bag, jumped out of the car, and made for the closest trash bin.

"No!" she screamed, "Get back here! That's mine! It's mine!"

I threw it into the closest bin I could find, then strode back to my car. She pushed past me, reached into the garbage can, and pulled the bag right out.

I said, "What are you doing? I don't want it stinking up my car. Leave it."

She said, "I don't want you coming back here for it. I'm hanging onto it, and if you don't drive me home, I'll find someone else to do it."

"Are you serious? You think I'm going to drive back here after dropping you off and go through your trash?"

"Take me home or I walk."

"Are you really serious?"

"Take me home with this bag."

"No way," I said, and made for my car.

I heard her shout, "You're just going to leave me? Are you really that big of a jerk?"

I guess I was. If you're not going to trust me to not look through your garbage, then why should I have to suffer for it? I left her there with her trash. Her choice.

Unfortunately, my car stank for a couple of days afterward, but soon the smell and her unpleasant memory faded away.

11 comments:

  1. My ex-wife's name isn't Evangeline, but the rest sounds familiar.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like hoarding behaviour to me, stating a desire to get rid of something and then coming up with outlandish excuses not to.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds like she's paranoid.. and obviously weird, She probably had something embarressing like bloody tampons or a adult diaper with shit stains lol.. Glad you left her, i cant stand the stories when the guy always pays for the dinner and brings the ignorant females home..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sounds like she's paranoid.. and obviously weird, She probably had something embarressing like bloody tampons or a adult diaper with shit stains lol.. Glad you left her, i cant stand the stories when the guy always pays for the dinner and brings the ignorant females home..

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sounds like white trash to me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sounds like white trash to me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Why would your car stink so bad? Unless you left a bag of garbage in your back seat and not in the trunk - but that would have to be one of the stupidest things I've heard recently.

    ReplyDelete
  9. How about her bringing to the date in general? That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How about her bringing to the date in general? That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Bridgett

    True enough, he should never have allowed her to bring it with them in the first place. He picked her up at her house. He could have asked her to leave the bag behind to dispose of later.

    I have a feeling that if he had, she would have had that fit then and there and saved him a wasted evening.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.