Email Sent in by Clara:
Whoa whoa whoa Clara!
Let's start again... you said things you didn't mean, I say things I didn't mean. Let's get back together and eat meat over some dinner and just come and hug together: people understand things better via the embrace. I've been drinking myself silly over this and that is just wasteful. I will give you gifts and a special pair of shorts I made they are spcial and magical. They can fly you to the stars. I am too nice to free them but I think they will treat you well I have had them for years and waited for the right pair of hips to pull them onto.
Things were said I didn't mean. I didn't mean it all. The parts about you being a frigid bitch were true but don't misunderstand/ it was meant to be between you and I and it is the way we overcome our masters with whip and iron hand. Haha what the hell am I talking about? You are asmart girl and will do what is asked.
Here I will show you: I have three reasons why you should write me back: first is I will take good care of you forever. More than you think I will? Two - what I said about shaving my balls was a joke. Third - what I said about shaving your dog's balls was a joke. Pleas write me.