12/10/2011

Leave My Dog Out of This

Email Sent in by Clara:

Whoa whoa whoa Clara!

Let's start again... you said things you didn't mean, I say things I didn't mean. Let's get back together and eat meat over some dinner and just come and hug together: people understand things better via the embrace. I've been drinking myself silly over this and that is just wasteful. I will give you gifts and a special pair of shorts I made they are spcial and magical. They can fly you to the stars. I am too nice to free them but I think they will treat you well I have had them for years and waited for the right pair of hips to pull them onto.

Things were said I didn't mean. I didn't mean it all. The parts about you being a frigid bitch were true but don't misunderstand/ it was meant to be between you and I and it is the way we overcome our masters with whip and iron hand. Haha what the hell am I talking about? You are asmart girl and will do what is asked.

Here I will show you: I have three reasons why you should write me back: first is I will take good care of you forever. More than you think I will? Two - what I said about shaving my balls was a joke. Third - what I said about shaving your dog's balls was a joke. Pleas write me.

From,
Lawrence

3 comments:

  1. Well, what's your email address? My dog's balls need some shaving....

    ReplyDelete
  2. "What I said about shaving your dog's balls was a joke"... that's AWESOME. I feel like that ought to be somebody's catchphrase. :-D

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.