12/17/2011

It Takes Tow to Tango

Story Sent in by Carol:

I was out to dinner on my first date with Fred. He had drank a few beers and his mouth started moving faster than his brain, which seemingly rolled to a stop.

"You are really, really, really, really, really pretty," he told me.

"Thanks," I replied.

He shook his head and leaned in. "You don't understand… you're really, really, really pretty."

"Thank you."

"Oh, you're welcome. Want to get high back at my place? I've got everything."

I said, "No, thank you. We can stay here."

"What if I told you to come back to my place? As in, I'm not asking."

I laughed, but also started to shake a bit. "I'd still have to turn you down, but thanks for the gallant offer."

He laughed himself, then said, "You know I drove my tow truck here. I could disable your car in less than 30 seconds. Then you'd have to come back to my place."

I didn't know if he really had a tow truck and/or if he had really driven it there, but I wasn't about to take chances. "If you did that, I'd call the cops."

"I should tow your car so fast… I'm going to if you don't come home with me."

"You touch my car, I call the cops. Swear to God."

He laughed again, long and hard, then stood up from the table and stumbled out of the pub without paying. I didn't follow him, but it didn't take me long to decide to cut my losses, pay, and leave before he could do anything to my car.

On my way out, I realized that I didn't think he could know which car was mine. I had parked on the street, and he was already inside the pub when I had arrived there. I found my untouched car, nearly jumped into it, and took off.

Before I made it home, he called me. I didn't think it was wise to pick up, but in case… I don't know, really. Stupid, in hindsight, but I picked it up.

"Hey!" he barked, "Which car is yours? I'm gonna tow it."

"I left. You're not towing anything."

Silence. I went on, "So, good night."

"Get back here so I can tow your car. I mean it. You're coming home with me whether you want to or not. I have to tow your car first so come back."

I replied, "All right. I'm on my way. I'll be there in an hour and a half. I have a few errands to run, to pick up some things if I'm coming over."

"Really? Great! See you then! Ha ha!" and he hung up.

I woke up the next morning with a text from him: "U COMMING OR WAT???"

Oh, wouldn't you know it. I forgot to go back to the pub, get towed, and spend the night at his place. Silly, forgetful me.

8 comments:

  1. I know that this date is bad and the guy was genuinely horrible, and I feel like it deserves many comments to that effect, but I can't think of anything witty or angry to say.

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  2. I wish we could vote people off the island.

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  3. See, this is why I always memorize the personal information of at least one person I hate - so that I have someplace to steer the aggression of other people just in case a golden opportunity like this pops up. "Oh no, you BETTER not come tow my blue corvette at 1291 Pinata drive! I will kick your ass SO hard if you do!"

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  4. ^ That wouldn't have really worked in this case - since the moron wanted her to show back up on location and tow her vehicle so she'd be "stuck" with him. Although, to be fair, he was drunk, so it probably would have been easy to verbally provoke him into settling for simply towing a vehicle vindictively.

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  5. For some reason i don't believe this particular story. Either it's made-up or COMPLETELY exaggerated. Think about it, If he was a serious creep and this story and the way she explained it was 100% true why would he up and leave, NOT wait for her to walk out and see what car she goes too, she leaves, he suddenly appears back at the scene later on, back to calling her telling her he wanted to tow her car, bring her back to his place, etc... Either he was completely F***'ing with her and she didn't catch on to his sarcastic tone or it's exaggerated.. I know anything is possible but i just don't believe this story to be 100% true the way she told it. I'm sure alot of the stories on here aren't true 100% but atleast they are interesting enough to make a good story..

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  6. ^You realize, random-numbers-and-letters, that you're calling BS on a story because a person who was obviously quite drunk didn't act in a logical, foresightful manner?

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  7. Creeps don't have to be good at being creeps, especially when drunk. Actually creep isn't really strong enough. Attempted rapist is more appropriate.

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  8. Too bad he didn't guess and end up towing an unmarked police car.

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