11/02/2011

When You Wish Upon a Loser

Profile Sent in by Felicia:

About me:

I've got the itch. Not going to lie. I want sexual satisfaction! Who will be the privileged girl? Possibly you, who are reading this.

Before you go ahead and think that I'm a sort of shiftless creepster, I pull in well over six figures a year. If that's not enough for you, then I also own a loft in the city as well as a bungalow outside it. Let's cut the games and both get what we know we both want: I want a good lay, you want a guy who's secure and independent. That's why you're on this site, right???

Seriously, leave love and sensitivity out of it. Indulge me for a night, and I will make any one of your wishes come true. You name it. To the stars, baby!

7 comments:

  1. I'm not a shiftless creepster. Rather, I am rich. So do me. Now.

    Any questions?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't think dating sites are where you find escorts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Only six figures? That's funny because Charlie Sheen has exactly the same description, and he makes eight figures. So even the most shameless gold-digger would still write him off as a loser.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think he forgot to mention his six figure salary includes the numbers AFTER the decimal point...

    ReplyDelete
  5. ^ I see what you did there alli_dolli!
    Nice

    ReplyDelete
  6. Because everyone knows that inside every single female out there is a gold digging slut waiting to be set free...

    ReplyDelete
  7. So Dmitri's on a dating site:

    http://www.holytaco.com/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/

    ReplyDelete

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