11/22/2011

That's Grows

Story Sent in by Bradley:

Tanya and I met at a skating rink. She nearly skated into me, and after a string of apologies, we entered into small talk, the end result of which was me asking her for her number. At the time, her hair was long, blonde, and pretty.

I asked her out after a couple of phone conversations, and when we met up in person, I was surprised to discover that since our first meeting, she had completely shaved her head.

I asked her, "Why did you shave off your hair?"

She replied, "My friend Ron said he'd pay me $500 to shave it off my head and then eat some of it."

She read the expression on my face, then finished with, "So dinner's on me, tonight."

It was a nice gesture, and I thanked her for it, but insisted on at least paying for myself. It seemed like the polite thing to do. She refused, and I quickly shifted us to another topic.

When the bill came, as she had promised, she handed her card right to the waiter, who left with it. Then, she said, "That was a good dinner."

I replied, "I'd think that anything would be, after eating hair."

She said, "I puked up a lot of it. It was bad," and then laughed. I laughed, too.

I didn't ask her out again.

46 comments:

  1. sounds like she dodged a bullet

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  2. Agreed. Eating hair can be rather dangerous.

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  3. OP seems boring and vaguely superficial. If he was dating her based solely on her hair, she dodged a bullet. Tanya seems adventurous, generous, and able to joke about herself. All of these are great qualities.

    Even if OP has some weird fetish for blondes and lack of blonde hair is a dealbreaker (which is OK - I don't judge people for their personal preferences) there's this thing called PATIENCE. Hair grows back in. Wisdom, on the other hand, takes longer to develop.

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  4. ^ I agree with ya, wolfie. That being said, I may have still gagged when she mentioned having eaten some of the hair... yuck.

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  5. I'm with the SHE dodged a bullet camp. Wolfie summed it up the best. OP is a superficial bore.

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  6. You know what they say - the blonde's hair will grow back eventually, but the OP will always be a douche.

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  7. Minus the hair-eating, didn't something like this happen on an episode of Friends?

    And I'm with Wolfie on this one too - she seems free-spirited, adventurous, quirky, and weird (in a good way). OP missed out.

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  8. So lemme get this straight... chick shaves her head for the purpose of eating the hair with her friend, then pukes the hair back up because "it was bad" (a rocket scientist she must be) and you're all saying the OP is wrong???

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  9. Yes, Connie - if you read the comments above, you will see that several of us found the chick's behavior quirky but endearing and different, while the OP comes across as shallow and perhaps humorless. It's clear you disagree though - no worries.

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  10. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

    A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it...(nor does it eat it's own hair)

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  11. hahaha okay. Show of hands: who has done this or anything like this before?

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  12. That chick kind of comes across as a dumb slut. I think I'm on Team "the OP dodged a cliche".

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  13. Bad case of the "I'm really superficial and didn't get what I wanted". Seriously. The eating hair part was kinda weird, and she could have left that out, but to write off a girl who seemed all around nice and fun and who paid for your dinner because you don't like her hair (or lack thereof) is so vain. Tanya dodged a bullet on this one.

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  14. Connie, did you miss the part where she made $500 out of this? *I* would definitely eat some of my own hair for $500, and I don't even need the money - I'd take the cash just to teach Ron a lesson about making dumb bets (unless he makes a ton of money, in which case the loss won't hurt him). Shit, I sliced open my own palm with a switchblade when I was 13 just to win the respect of my fellow teenagers. Eating a little hair is nothing. And on top of that, Tanya offered to pay for dinner?!? Why can't *I* meet girls like that?

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  15. ^ Sliced open your palm for respect?
    You just lost mine.

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  16. ^ Howie, I never said it was a SMART decision. I was 13 - we all make dumb decisions when we're young. I fully acknowledge that it was an idiotic move, just as I acknowledge that you're an idiot if my 13-year old self is the total basis of your respect for me.

    That said, I don't think it was dumb to injure myself to accomplish a goal - what was stupid is that the goal wasn't worth the injury. Nowadays when I make a personal sacrifice I try to injure that the gains always outweigh it. So I repeat - $500 just to eat some hair? That's EASY money.

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  17. Sorry, I meant "try to ensure", not "try to injure"... typo? Or FREUDIAN SLIP? ;-)

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  18. I'm a little on the fence with this one. Eating enough hair to puke it back up is nasty. I read a story once of a woman that ate her hair habitually over a long period of time, and it clumped in her system to the point it needed to be removed with surgery. Yuck.

    Still, I don't think that should have been a dealbreaker. She DID make $500, after all. People probably do worse things when they sign up for medical or scientific studies. He should have gotten to know her better to see if she made bad decisions all the time, or if these were just harmless periodic hijinks.

    Eh, I started out being team OP, but I think I talked myself into being team Tanya instead.

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  19. Team wolfdreams01, including the response to Connie. $500 dude. People have killed for less. Maybe.

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  20. ^ I heard Big Worm smoked a dude.... for 50 bucks.

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  21. @lime-coconut

    Here's the article:
    http://articles.cnn.com/2007-11-21/health/hairball.case_1_untangle-doctors-bezoar?_s=PM:HEALTH

    This one has a picture:
    WARNING: do not look if currently eating!
    http://news.sky.com/home/article/1293894

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  22. Wolf.
    True we all do stupid things when we were young...but you just said you'd eat hair for $500 even though you don't need the money...and just to stop that person from making stupid bets??! ugh.
    Still young?

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  23. Look, fleecing a moron from their money isn't about the money itself, Howie. It's about the look of baffled confusion in their eyes when they realize that two minutes of running their mouths cost them two days of hard work, or the way their face changes as the realization hits them that they'll need to work overtime to make rent that month. It's about the warm emotional glow of making an idiot face the consequences of their life choices. Does this make me a bad person? Maybe, but I do a lot of unpaid volunteer work and donate money regularly to different charities. I earn more than enough good karma to be able to indulge in thwacking jackasses from time to time.

    As for the act of eating hair itself, I don't understand why you're so grossed out by it. People bite their fingernails all the time, and that's made of exactly the same material. There aren't even any long term health consequences (unless she does this regularly for years). The way you act, it's like she'd eaten feces. I understand that everyone has some strange phobias and quirks, but you're being the immature one by foisting those values on the rest of us.

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  25. Doing something to your body (like shaving your head and eating the hair) for money makes you a whore. Congratulations. You're a whore with no self respect. How endearing.

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  27. ^ Actually, a whore is somebody who has sex for profit, usually money. As far as I can see, no sex for money took place. It can also be used to refer to a person who can easily be bought, usually for corrupt reasons. Shaving her hair and eating some for $500 doesn't seem to be particularly corrupt. Weird and gross, yes, but hardly bad enough to be called immoral.

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  28. I didn't say it was immoral. And the word 'whore' can be used in all kinds of contexts. Like Kim Kardashian is a fame whore. She's whored her entire life to the media.

    Did anyone see that South Park episode where the kids were paying Kenny to eat things, and he became a whore for doing things to his body for profit? It's not necessarily immoral, just... well, 'endearing' is the wrong word.

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  29. I have a few comments on this post and a reply to one commenter as well. First I'm on Tanya's side she sounds fun and cool. Second - Connie you are judgemental and have no sense of humor. Third if someone offered me $500 to shave my head I'd be all where's the razor b/c it is hair and who cares you just made $500. Lastly, I am a cancer survivor and actually was bald for a long time (no body hair either, no eye lashes or eye brows) so anyone who can be cool and have fun and not take themselves too seriously is all good in my book. Connie to call someone a whore b/c she took a bet that had nothing to do with sex just shows what a closed minded cunt you really are. Okay I'm done

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  30. Shaving your head is one thing, eating the long hair you shaved off is very much another. Congratulations on being a cancer survivor.

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  31. Connie, that's a pretty broad definition of "whore". According to your logic that would make most really dedicated actors whores since they frequently change their physical appearance for a part.

    Congratulations on beating cancer, Boston Girl. I have family members with the illness and I know how rough it can be.

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  32. Happy Thanksgiving to my USA friends!!
    I'm thankful for this site and for Wolfedreams comments!
    Congrats on beating cancer BostonGirl!

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  33. I think the girl in the story is awesome, but if the OP doesn't, at least she's still available for someone who appreciates her.

    On a side note, I used to work with a girl who would do just about anything for $2. I once paid her to eat a bath ball (one of those marble-sized gel balls filled with bath oil). I still wouldn't call her a whore because I think the $2 was just an excuse to do something silly, kind of like a dare with a small amount of money attached.

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  34. Connie, I'm not sure South Park is a very good reference for the validity of any claim. Maybe you should go eat some hair.

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  35. I did it Belle! I shaved my head (my brown hair was down to my butt!) and I ate it. Now I feel better. Where's my $500??? You were going to pay me, right? oh hell...

    I'm quirky and endearing, even if I don't get paid, right?

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  36. ^ Well, Connie obviously didn't really shave her head, but I have to admit she's keeping her sense of humor about the argument, which actually IS kind of quirky and endearing. I'd definitely chip in $5 for that if the rest of you are up for it. But since Connie's being so open-minded and going out of her way to view things from OUR perspective, we should be respectful of the viewpoint SHE expressed, by calling her a "whore" and putting the money in her G-string. ;-)

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  37. @ wolfdreams. Sorry, going all the way back to the why I think it's gross question. I used to chew on my hair when I was little, and I still bite my fingernails. I'm not bothered by the surface noming of body parts. There, I licked my hand just now. Delicious.

    But that isn't stuff I swallow. It's the actual ingestion of the solid substance that I find icky. The thought that the hair has to pass through whole, or clump, or come back up. And vomiting as a rule has an inherent yuck factor.

    Kind of like drinking pee. Sure you can do it sometimes without any adverse repercussions. But it doesn't give you any nutrition, and especially in hair's case you can't digest it, so....why? And a little ew.

    Yay explanation *bow* I don't think it makes her a whore. Silly maybe, but again... that $500 wipes away a lot of the this is kind of stupid element. And there are way worse things one can do for such a bet.

    Also, bald heads are fun to touch.

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  38. ^ Your explanation makes a lot of sense. Thanks!

    Also, I happen to be bald (but actually NOT from eating my hair), so thanks for that also. ;-)

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  39. Pix for $500. Make the cheque out to 'cash'. Where shall I send the pix?

    OoooOOooh the hair tickles my intestines. This must be why people put gerbils up their ass. Fuckin A.

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  40. I love bald heads that are shiny. I always have to resist the urge to walk up and touch it XD

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  41. Well, Connie has started to take this one a little too far. How about we all back away slowly, making as little noise as possible?

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  42. You guys need to grow a sense of humour. No wonder nobody got the South Park reference.

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  43. Okay, bottom line, OP seems to be superficial and douchey. IMHO. :)

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