11/16/2011

Telephony

Story Sent in by Scott:

Erica and I arranged to meet outside of a cafe on our first date. I arrived about a minute before our meeting time, parked my car, and hurried along the sidewalk to the place, right around a corner.

As I approached the corner, I heard the sound of a young woman with a loud voice. I continued on and found that the voice belonged to Erica herself: she sat on a bench right in front of the cafe, seemingly talking to herself. She said, "Yes, Steve, I agree, that was a lot of fun Steve. I'm so glad that we're still friends, Steve."

I gave her a funny look, then she saw me. "Oh!" she said, "I'll call you back, Steve."

That explained it. A wireless headset. That I couldn't see.

She reached into her pocket, apparently hit a button, and said to me, "Sorry. My Bluetooth."

It was all good. We introduced each other, then went inside. The place was known for its desserts, and that's what we ordered. We had a good conversation for several minutes, and I had just asked her, "What sort of articles did you write for your college paper?" when she said,

"Hello? Hi, Herman."

"What?"

She took her hand, which had been under the table, and held her pointer finger up, then looked up and away, the universal look of someone on the phone. Her phone must have rang and she had activated her wireless headset by answering the call in her pocket. I still couldn't see her headset, though. Must have been tiny.

She went on, "I'd love to right now, but I'm out on a date. Yes. Maybe later on. We'll see. Okay, thanks, Herman." She clicked the button in her pocket.

I suggested, "Maybe silencing the ring would be a good idea?"

She said, "I–" then clicked the button in her pocket again. "Hello?" she asked, exasperated, "Yes, hi Larry." She rolled her eyes at me. I sighed. She continued, "No, I can't meet up tonight. Maybe later this week. I'm on another date now. Okay. Bye."

She hung up. "You're awfully popular," I said.

She groaned, "I know. I'm booked solid."

I asked, "Can I see your headset?"

She froze. "What?"

I said, "Your headset. I'm not going to do anything with it, but I've never heard of one so small. I can't even see it. May I?"

"No," she said.

"Why not?"

She laughed, "Because, I… it's… I'm not going to show you my headset."

"Why not?"

"It's a… I'm… my headset… it's a first date!" she finished, explaining absolutely nothing.

"And showing me your headset is too personal?"

She breathed faster. Then, she said, "Yes? Hi… uh… Mom," then said to me, "Excuse me, I have to take this. Be right back," and she excused herself from the table.

What was truly fascinating about that call was that Erica didn't hit the button in her pocket to accept the call. It just picked up, apparently, by itself, in her ear.

When she came back, she said, "Look, I have to go. I'm sorry. We can… here," she tossed a $10 bill on the table, "Yeah, I have to go now. Bye!" She left me there. She and her invisible, nonexistent headset.

16 comments:

  1. Don't worry, OP - sounds like she had already decided that she didn't like you, EVEN BEFORE SHE MET YOU FOR YOUR FIRST DATE, and the whole headset ruse was just a ploy to ditch you gently. At least that's what I've learned here at ABCotD, lmao.

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  2. I don't agree. Notice how all of the original "callers" were male? She was trying to make this guy think that she was EXTREMELY desirable, but when he called her on it, "Mom" bailed her out and she ditched.

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  3. I think she was just trying to show the OP how popular and desirable she was. "Yes, I'm in SUCH high demand; you should feel lucky to have the privilege to date me!"

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  4. Gah! Mediator beat me to it!

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  5. I do not understand? Could she not have gotten a cheap real headset to make her mind game more credible? Or she could have just covered her ears with her hair.

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  6. ...maybe had one permanently transplanted in her ear. It would go nicely with the faxes she received from her ass when she pulled down her pants.

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  7. I've heard of people trying the equivalent at job interviews to seem like a hot ticket, and it usually works about as well.

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  8. Like Dan said, faking phone calls is an old trick, but usually you have to have a phone, or at least an ear piece.

    @Agnes - that happened to me once, legitimately. I was on an interview, and my interviewers left the room to discuss, and in the mean time I got 2 phone calls from other potential jobs wanting to set up interviews with me. They must have overheard because they came back in the room and were very interested in getting me hired before I left. The good news - I went on the interview being told that the job paid $50/hr, and before I left they had offered me $63/hr. Yup, I took it :)

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  9. Tourist- CLEARLY I made poor life choices in not winding up in tech in NY.

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  10. its shit like this that makes me glad im not single and don't have to date. i think dating inspires us to be that extra little bit crazy.

    poor girl, i feel sorry for her. she probably thought it was a good idea, but sometimes the hardest thing to be is yourself.

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  11. Howie, I was thinking of that joke too...

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  12. @Tourist of Life

    What the hell do you do in "Technology" that is the equivalent of $63/hr!?

    Unless your job title is IT/Stripper?

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  13. @Agnes, etc - I don't want to start an OT discussion here, but I'll just say this: It all has to do with location. I grew up in central California doing IT work for about $16-20/hr. I once had a job at $26/hr and I thought that was the most I would ever make. Then I heard that the same job in San Francisco paid $45-55 entry level and $60-80+ for experience, so I went there (the interview I described was my first one in SF). Now I'm in NYC doing the same thing. But keep in mind cost of living. For example, I'm living in a small studio apartment in Times Square that has a window facing a brick wall, and it costs $2500/mo. My previous place was a 2-bedroom in a mid-rise in Gramercy, great view, small kitchen, $6K/mo. My last apartment in Central Cali was twice as big and only $800/mo - And I used to think that was expensive! In a small town a $100K+ income is a luxury, in a big city it's a basic necessity.

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  14. @the Mediator: It sounds plausible enough. My friend is a software architect in Boston and makes six figures easily, so NYC must have at least an equivalent base salary.

    Then again, on the Internet can be anything they want. For example, I TELL people I work in finance, but in reality I'm just a dog. And man, typing with these paws sure is ruff!

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  15. @Tourist

    That... was extremely well defined and actually makes perfect sense. Huh. I think you may have just broken ABCotD.

    @wolfie

    Alright, you got me. I laughed.

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