11/11/2011

She-Hulk Tries Dating

Story Sent in by Troy:

Dawn wore a bright tie-dye shirt to our date, and had two of the hairiest arms I've ever seen on anyone, man or woman. She caught me staring at them during dinner.

"I'm proud of them," she said. "I think they make me stronger. Honest to god. I have more testosterone or boy juice or whatever."

"Boy juice?"

"You know what I mean."

"Quite so."

There was a decided shift in her tone after that point. I'm not sure what it was, but she became less pleasant and more of a braggart.

"I'm like the mom among my friends. I give great advice, and I'm probably the most mature out of all of them. I also bench press," she said.

After a full dinner of hearing about how amazing Dawn was, we walked outside in the warm summer evening. She pointed to one of those small smart cars and asked me, "How'd you like to see me lift that?"

"I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," I said.

Ignoring me, she went over to the car's rear bumper and attempted to lift it. She couldn't, but tried a few more times. She repeated "Oh God" several times as I watched. She turned around and tried to lift it with her back to it. Still no luck.

"Damn," she said giving up, "I thought I'd be able to lift at least two of these."

"Sorry."

She pointed to it. "Now you try."

I laughed. "No thanks. I'm sure it's probably too heavy."

She said, "Are you mocking me? Try lifting it."

"No."

"Okay, or you can just be an asshole," she said. "Last chance to lift it."

"No. What would be the point of that?"

"Me," she said as explanation, "But I guess you're just not into me enough."

"To lift a car?"

She shrugged. "I'm going to hit the gym. Laters."

She left me there, on the spot, without a goodbye or anything else.

14 comments:

  1. So, basically she was hitting the 'roids. Purrr.

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  2. Being into things that aren't typical of your gender does not make you a lesbian.

    I think we've seen similar stories on the site before, but it's always been guys trying to prove themselves and then getting annoyed when they fail. Yay, now we have gender equality in craziness and insecurity!

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  3. I'm pretty sure She-Hulk didn't have hairy arms

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  4. ^ I'm pretty sure Ashley has an IQ below 85

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  5. Am I the only one who thinks the girl went into overcompensating mode because she's spent her whole life having people make rude comments about her unnaturally hairy arms? She probably figured that if the guy was staring at them, he wouldn't be interested in her anyway, so why not just play into (what she's assuming is) his first impressions of what she must be like? I feel kinda bad for her.

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  6. ^ Why not just wax or shave to make things easier?

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  7. ^ it will no doubt grow back hairier and rougher

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  8. Ow Brad, my feelings. Make a little nerd joke and someone has to hate. Maybe I should have been more specific and said "Excessively hairy arms"

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. Aw, no Don jokes yet? Now I have to be the lame one.

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  11. Don't worry Ashley, I got your back.

    She Hulk didn't have hairy arms. In fact according to the Marvel Swimsuit issue she didn't have any visible body hair.

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  12. the lesbian comment was just a joke. duh.

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