Story Sent in by Charles:
Erica asked me, during dinner together, if we could stop at a convenience store after the meal. "I need a new nine-volt battery for my smoke detector," she said. I told her that I wouldn't have a problem with that.
As she had requested, after dinner, we went to a nearby pharmacy to look for her battery. I followed her as she grabbed one off a rack, but instead of making for the cashier, she strolled down one of the aisles.
"Are you looking for anything else?" I asked her.
"No, I'm just browsing."
Fair enough. On a date. I guess. I decided to go off and browse on my own, so I said, "I'm going to go check out the notebooks."
She said, "Fine," and so I went down another aisle and checked out the notebooks and pens. What a good selection they had.
After about five minutes of not seeing Erica at all, I went looking for her. I looked up and down each aisle, and finally found her by the store entrance, with her batteries in a shopping bag. "All set?" I asked her.
She gave me a wilting look and said, "I don't know who you think you are, but you don't go off and disappear like that. I don't tolerate that."
She stormed out of the store, and I kept pace with her on the sidewalk outside. I asked, "What are you talking about? You said you were browsing. I went off to browse, myself. I was always nearby."
She said, "And you never came back! What if some guy tried to take advantage of me in the store and touch me inappropriately? You'd just look at notebooks and not care?"
"If you called for me I would have been right there."
She mumbled something under her breath that I couldn't hear. I asked her, "What? Speak up."
She said, "Don't you yell at me to speak up, first of all. Second of all, you were probably off, ogling someone else. No one goes off to look at notebooks for that long."
"I was just browsing around. Why are we even arguing about this?"
"Because it shows me what you're really like. If you're like this now, then once we've been dating for ten years, you'll probably be treating me even worse."
"Ten years? We can't even make it 10 minutes."
She sighed and seemed to calm down. I wanted to end things amicably, if at all possible, but I definitely wanted to end things, regardless. She said, "Fine. I'll let you make it up to me."
"Make what up to you? I still don't know what I did that merited such a–"
She turned to face me fully. "If you let me kick you in the shin, then I'll consider it repaid. Ready?"
She looked dead serious. I laughed right in her face. She stepped toward me and kicked my left shin with her right foot. It hurt a bit. As an almost reflexive retaliation, I swung my right leg and kicked her, lightly, in her own shin. It was more like a tap than a kick.
"Ow!" she screamed, and collapsed to the ground in a ball of drama. "How could you do that to me?"
There were other people around, as we were on a sidewalk, and I decided that absolutely no good could come from me remaining there to try and reason with her. It was stupid for me to retaliate, perhaps, but who knows what she would have done next, if I had let her get away with it. No regrets. I took off and didn't look back.
She rang my phone off the hook over the next few days, but that tapered off after a while and finally stopped.
Story Sent in by Charles: