Story Sent in by Martin:
I was out to dinner with Dana on our first date. Our food hadn't arrived yet, and I excused myself to use the bathroom.
When I returned, our orders were at the table, but my food was in front of Dana. I reached for my order. She slid it back toward herself.
"I think that's mine," I said, thinking that she had made a simple mistake.
In response, she stuck out her tongue and made a raspberry all over the food. Flecks of spit flew everywhere.
Once she was done, she looked at me, as if seeking approval. I said, "Wow. What was that for?"
She replied, "Did I tell you that I won second place in a charity race last week?"
"It was for charity."
"Is that why you just took my order."
She pointed at the plate in front of me, what she had ordered. "You can still eat that."
"I can, but I didn't order it, and I don't get why you—"
She leaned in and said, "I'm going to level with you. I can run fast, which is why I brought up the race. If you try to chase me, you won't be able to."
I tried to work through her logic, then sat back and said, "I don't think I'll be chasing you. Have no fear."
"You really are just like my dad. Like, exactly. You are paying for this, right?"
I had initially planned to, but that stopped seeming like a good idea. "Probably not."
She then laughed at me and said, "Oh my God. Exactly like my dad. So funny!"
She hardly ate anything, and I went ahead and finished the meal that was in front of me. She gave me dirty looks for the rest of dinner, and only spoke up when the bill came.
"So you're seriously not paying?"
We paid, we left, we never contacted each other again.