9/09/2011

That Was a Great Night

Profile Sent in by Angie:

About me:

never been in prison just public drunkenness but who hasn't been drunk in public sometime am i right??????

not my fault anyway it was all my friends around me who was drunk. they were the ones who made me chase that woman down five blocks and ripped my shirt off and then they all said go do her steve and so i tried really i did but then she screamed something i couldnt hear so i had to get closer and then whoa hello cops!

NOT illegal to be outside with no shirt on. not illegal that and not illegal to run outside. so whats illegal? sir your drunk. no i am not officer. yes you are sir. no im

why hello jail cell you smell like piss. wheres my lawyer? not in here son get some sleep.

wake up time and you may go sir dont be a menace any longer. i wont officers.

next night same thing? you betcha!

8 comments:

  1. Oh, Charlie Sheen. Look what you've done to America.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think maybe his 'friends' are in his head. "I'm not drunk, it's my friends who ripped off my shirt and made me chase this lady because I'm gonna do her!" Crazy creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. a bad case of the rapes...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Best profile ever: "I'm an attempted rapist lol." A service to humanity to warn others away so efficiently.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Why didn't the cops chemically neuter this doofus?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well the important thing is that he learnt his lesson

    ReplyDelete
  7. "I tried really hard to rape her, but I didn't manage!"

    Uh, okay then.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The first two paragraphs practically sound like the dating profile of an 11th century Viking.

    "So, how was your weekend, Hrothnar?"
    "Eh, got drunk, did a little rape and pillaging... the usual."

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.