9/11/2011

How Amiss, a Stolen Kiss

Story Sent in by Ryan:

Valerie and I were at a pub together on our first date. She was pretty and talkative, and she had given me no reason to think that we would be having anything other than a good time.

Our food had just been served and we had started on it when her cell phone rang. I assumed that she'd silence it, as we were out to dinner on a date, after all. However, when she took it out, she looked at it, then stood up and said, "I'll be right back."

She walked away from the table and I saw her bring the phone to her ear as she exited the restaurant. Perhaps it was an emergency, and I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but if it was anything otherwise, then it was poor form and rude, at best. She had left her purse, though, so she clearly intended to return shortly.

I waited about three minutes before I flagged down a waiter and said, "I'd like to go outside to check on someone, but I don't want you to think that I'm ditching the bill." I pulled out two twenties (which would have easily covered the entire meal) and went on, "Let me leave you this as collateral. I'll be back in just a few."

The waiter took the bills. I stashed Valerie's purse under the table to hide it, and I hurried outside to check on her. I didn't see her when I first walked out, so I took a quick walk up and down the block, and was about to call her when I found her inside a parked car, locking lips with some other guy.

My first impulse was to knock on the car windows, but I didn't see that ending well for me, whether or not it ended in a fight.

I turned and ran back to the restaurant. Once back, I made for Valerie's purse and found two twenties within. I pocketed them, re-hid her purse under the table, found the waiter, and told him to keep the twenties I had given him for the bill and tax plus any change as tip. Then, I took off.

I never heard from Valerie after that, and I certainly don't have any regrets. I hope it was worth it for her.

30 comments:

  1. "I made for Valerie's purse and found two twenties within. I pocketed them"

    That's where the OP lost me.
    While Valerie was behaving crappily, opening her purse is an invasion of her privacy and so not okay. And then taking money out of it is theft, plain and simple.

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  2. Yep, you have robbed your bad date.

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  3. I was with the OP until he resorted to stealing money for revenge.

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  4. I'm still with the OP. he just made her pay for the meal and made sure the place and waiter didn't get stiffed. He didn't come out ahead any, except for a free meal. Granted that going into her purse was an invasion of privacy, if that's all he did I won't fault him for it.

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  5. Pretty bad date, but I think a better way to have handled it would have been to pay your own bill and then leave. She'd have to come back for her purse, eventually, and could have settled up with them for her part of it at that time.

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  6. ^^ what she said...had it just turned out to be a "we have no chemistry" type date, and she just holed up in the restroom or at the bar or something. HOWEVER, given the circumstances, and had it been ME catching a guy swapping spit with another female on our first date when i'm thinking things are looking "up", the cunt in me would have done the EXACTLY what OP did. i say KUDOS to you..and that's coming from a female ;)

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  7. Another Case of Pussy Original Poster, seriously, we need a tag for these....

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  8. I'm with the OP on this one, why waste your time confronting someone like that, you wouldn't gain anything. Making her pay for dinner was a debatable move but I understand why he did it, I'd have done the same if I was on a date with such an awful person.

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  9. Yeah, I agree with OP and Rene on this one. I would've robbed the bitch too!

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  11. There's nothing about another person being lame that excuses stealing from them. As the others have pointed out, he could have easily paid only his part and left, handing the chick's purse to the waiter or manager.

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  12. I am also on team OP.

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  13. On the one hand, I'm generally opposed to stealing. On the other hand, time IS money, and since she knowingly wasted at least an hour of his life, it's only fair that she pay for it.

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    1. That she *pay* for it, not be *robbed* for it. Ends not justifying means and all that...

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  14. I honestly don't consider that stealing as long as he didn't take anything extra for himself.

    Why should he be out of pocket for something that his date decided to do? Besides, she was a bitch and deserved it.

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  16. ^Because she screwed him over, is that not explanation enough? Should he just take his lumps and be off with it?

    Less than ten minutes... bull. Add in all the time that was wasted talking to her, planning, and preparing to go on that date. Yeah, I'd say she owed him dinner.

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  17. I'm not sure why people are defending a date who can treat another human being in such a way.
    People are always saying OPs are wimps or pansies for not standing up for themselves or doing something about their situation and one of them finally did.

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  19. When reading the story, I hesitated for a moment when it came to the part where he used her money to pay for dinner. Then I was team OP all the way.

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  20. Generally on OKcupid it takes three back and forth exchanges before a girl will agree to go out with you, then there's another e-mail finalizing it. Then there's reservations, 20 minutes driving there, driving back, etc... all told, that's minimum two hours and a lot of emotional investment that the OP should never have wasted on her. Unless of course Valerie was honest about who she was and told the OP beforehand "Hey BTW, I'm a massive slut" in which case, somebody call the police cause OP is a dirty rotten thief!

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  21. (Watch Coriolanus post some incoherent ranting about misogyny in 3, 2, 1... c'mon, where is he? I LOVE getting a rise out of that guy!) ;-)

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  22. TheGnome should realize that if you don't treat people like shit, you won't have to pay for dinner. Girl should have taken her purse with her.

    I repeat, she deserved it.

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  23. You can't just decide that people owe you?

    Really? After seeing your "date" kissing some other dude after leaving your ass in the lurch?

    Team OP, 100%. She's lucky that's all he took.

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  25. As long as you're very selective and only target bad people, what's wrong with being a jerk? Hell, a large part of our criminal justice system is based off the principle of "inflicting punishment on bad people to make the world a better place."

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    1. Inflicting punishment is not being a jerk. The OP is not the criminal justice system and doesn't have any sort of due process.

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  26. A bit late on this post, but can everyone please get off your high horses? Geez. She was a bitch. She deserved it. End of story.

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  28. Good on the OP, Dumb broad had the nerve to walk out on a date to kiss another guy. I wouldn't pay for her either and i would of did the same thing, Had it come out of her pocket for wasting my time. What a hoe.

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