9/19/2011

But They Are Known to Be Nuts

Profile Sent in by Aimee:

I'm really good at:

…….breaking into graveyards. No joke. I know where all the freshest corpses are. The trick is to find grass just lighter than the rest. It's freshly planted and usually over a new grave.

Do I dig them up? No I do not. I just like sitting near them and can spend hours reading there.

Have I ever seen a corpse? Yes. Too many times. Operational hazard.

Do I ever go into a mausoleum? No. Most are locked and it's a bad idea to go inside, ever since last year.

What happened last year? I was reading behind a mausoleum when I heard a noise like knocking coming from the front. When I went around to the front there was really loud knocking but it was coming from the inside side of the locked door. Haven't been back to that one since.

Am I sure it wasn't a squirrel? Yes. Squirrels don't knock that loud on anything.

5 comments:

  1. Do I like asking questions and then answering them myself? Yes. Does that make me a creeper? Yes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are there people crazy enough to find fresh graves to sit beside and read next to? Yes.

    Are there people crazy enough to hear knocking coming from inside a mausoleum and not find someone to open it? No.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do I know the secret to finding a freshly mowed lawn? Yes, it is the one with shorter grass.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do I like to grow beets? Yes. I've been known to enjoy the bounty of nature when it comes to beets.

    Is my name Dwight Schrute? I refuse to answer that question. Next.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Do I know how to break into places that aren't usually locked and most often surrounded by waist high walls? why yes I do.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.