9/28/2011

Biking Out

Story Sent in by Lynda:

Dustin and I met online, had a good first date together, and afterward, we made out a little in his car. He dropped me off at my house, and I considered it one of the best first dates that I'd ever had.

The following morning, a Saturday, I woke up to find a very used, very rusty exercise bike right on my front porch. It was parked so close to the outer glass door that I couldn't open it all the way. A thin pink ribbon, in a bow, was tied around its frame.

Unsure of who put it there, I was able to move it aside and go on with my day. Then, an email from Dustin arrived: "What did you think of it?"

I wrote back, "You left that bike here? Why? It doesn't even look like it'll run."

"It runs okay. You should ride it. I don't want you getting fat."

After taking a few seconds to realize what an asshole he was, I replied, "Either you pick it up or it's going in the trash."

He wrote back, "DON'T THROW IT OUT IT IS MY PROPERTY."

"Come pick it up, then. You left it here."

"No. You use it. I don't want you getting fat, and I don't like to repeat myself."

I brought it out to the curb, and it was gone less than a day later. Dustin wrote me (and called occasionally. I let it go to voicemail) for the better part of three years, asking about his bike. The emails finally tapered off, and I haven't heard from him in about a year.

8 comments:

  1. Bah, I really shouldn't have read most of the bad date archives here (or at least not the comments), now I can't think of anything else than that this is a bait for a stupid "fat bitch" comment...

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  2. That's quite alright, Dr. Quite alright.

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  3. What is wrong with people? I find it hard to believe sometimes how crazy the daters in these stories are.. then I remember being tricked into watching the first few seconds of 2 Girls 1 Cup so, never mind.

    Read the rest of my comments at www.abadcaseofthedates.com

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  4. Sawyer86, I'd rather not read the rest of your comments, if it's all the same to you... :P

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  5. I say it again: although my real name is Dustin, this is not me. I promise.

    Read more of my comments at PleaseDontDeleteMyPosts.com.

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  6. ...I feel like being gone for several weeks means that I'm going to miss out on the inside jokes being alluded to in this comment thread.

    In other news: fat bitch.

    In other, other news: THREE YEARS, BRO? Shit, get over yourself. What a loser.

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  7. How do you remember what he said three years later? Hell, I can't remember most of my conversations from yesterday.

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  8. Something like this a girl never forgets

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