8/02/2011

Who Are You, Again?

Email Sent in by Richard:

(Richard says: "I took Marcy out on a date: dinner and a walk. I never heard from her after that. This email arrived over eight months later.")

Dear Richard:

I feel that I can now discuss what I have wanted to say for so long. I have been trying to think of a way to put this into words, but the way has eluded me. Do you know what I mean?

I hate to be the bearer of bad, unfortunate news, but I sincerely believe that we are not right for each other. I have turned the situation over and over in my head and this is not a decision that I make lightly. You were sweet and polite, but something was missing, and I'm so very sorry that it has come down to this.

As a consolation, I am sure that you will find happiness elsewhere. The world is a big place and there is so much love, I am sure you will find your share. It will be a beautiful thing for you and yours. Please do not attempt to change my mind. My decision, I'm afraid, is final. I am available for emotional counseling if you are in need.

Fondly,
Marcy

8 comments:

  1. She's da bomb! Why didn't you fall madly in love with her?

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  2. This is the hallmark of a person that takes themselves way too seriously.

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  3. ^Either that or Marcy had a date with another Richard a couple of days earlier and sent this message to the wrong one.

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  4. . . . or an absolutely straight-faced troll.

    That said, this site has shown me that there are actually people in the world who are this crazy.

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  5. ^ Whoops! That last comment was meant to come right after churro's.

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  6. "I am available for emotional counseling if you are in need."

    Sounds legit.

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  7. I'd say she had a relationship in the 8-month gap, which probably ended with her getting dumped, and she's looking for a little ego boost.

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  8. I'd say she uses a form letter any time she wants to dump a guy. I don't know why he received it so later, but it sounds generic - like a bad horoscope.

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