8/09/2011

Vary Your Personality Over That Way, Please

Profile Sent in by M:

About me:

How would you like to get to know one man divided into four bodies? My name is WeWe WeeWaaz WazWaz WazaWezo and I would like to know you.

Wewe will take you out dancing. He will meet your family, impress your friends. Wewe will be with you at house jams, festivals and partying everywhere, and you will also accompany wewe on his social outings as his beloved companion. He is the public face of your relationship.

Weewaaz will give you advice, weewaaz will pick you up from Yoga, weewaaz will decide where it is most reasonable you go to eat. Weewaaz will suggest that you need to take a stronger interest in the way you feel about yourself, that you need to be more assertive at work, that you don't really want another cat.

Wazwaz loves you. Wazwaz loves to listen to you in any capacity, and will respond thoughtfully with awe and interest. Wazwaz will show you that you are the person you've always wanted to be, he will cuddle with you; give you ice cream when you feel down. Wazwaz is the empathetic man you need for emotional catharsis.

Wazawezo will make love to you as he is always horny and you are just his type. He will respect you, unless you don't want to be respected as he works to satiate your every sexual need.

Let me be clear, I do not have multiple personalities. I am only one person who will vary his personality according to your emotional/social/physical/actual needs. I am your gregarious companion, your logical influence figure, your partner in crime, , your man meat and I would like to know you.

9 comments:

  1. That's a guy who will rarely get the chance to use his WeWe.

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  2. As you all know, I've been a reader of this blog for a long time. This is probably the saddest, most pathetic thing I've read on here. Here's a man who is so sad and alone and desperate to love and be loved that he will be whomever his mate wants him to be. He will do whatever his mate wants him to do. He'll be strong; he'll be empathetic. He'll be constructively critical; he'll boost her self-esteem just when she needs it most. He'll respect her boundaries; he'll fuck her brains out if that's what she wants.

    It breaks my heart to know that this poor bastard is out there, sitting at a computer, about to become a bad date for someone....

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    Replies
    1. I don't read this as the profile of a doormat. It looks to me more like he's a really controlling "nice guy". Note Weewaaz especially.

      Delete
  3. This basically reads as 'Please have me', quite sad, and reading Nikki's comment made it more depressing cause it's true.

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  4. ^^Howie shed a tear
    Howiewazz wasn't as empathetic
    HowHow got a boner
    Howezo hated this story

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  5. You know, all he had to put down was that he was extremely flexible and supportive and be done with it.

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  6. What I want to know is, where does a guy learn that being human jelly is attractive to women? Last I checked, there's no part of our culture that promotes this idea, unless I'm forgetting something.

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  7. ^mothers everywhere support that.

    Mothers, this is for you; STOP IT!

    or rather, do as you please, for those of us who know you're wrong there are just that much more available fish in the sea ;)

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  8. I'm just glad he'll prevent someone from getting another cat.

    ReplyDelete

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