8/05/2011

The Sweet Taste of Emasculation

Story Sent in by Bernice:

Jack was an acquaintance who looked like Pee Wee Herman but wasn't nearly as attractive and had none of Pee Wee's social skills. In short, I wasn't very interested in him, but he wouldn't quit his interest in me. He pestered me on and off for months about going to see a movie, and I finally relented. I claim, in my defense, stupidity.

To create a buffer, I also invited my roommate and her boyfriend, Alan, along. It was obvious that this annoyed Jack, but there was no way I'd have been comfortable alone with him. 

We went to see the film, and it was pretty funny. Jack wouldn’t keep his hands to himself, so I constantly shifted away from him to avoid the fondling.

"Stop it," I finally said. When he persisted, I said, "Keep your hands to yourself or I'll make you."

Jack whispered, "I'd like to see you try."

Whenever a humorous moment occurred in the movie, Alan laughed, which was not unlike the braying of a donkey: "Haw! Haw! Haw!"

"Shut up!" came the voice of an infuriated man behind us.

Alan replied, "I paid my money. I’ll laugh if it’s funny."

Nothing else came of it during the film, but just when we stood up at the end, the man behind us leaped for Alan and attacked him with feet and fists. Alan knew martial arts, and I was a boxer and had been trained in street fighting, so while Jack and my roommate backed away, we fought the guy.

It got pretty brutal, but security tore the guy away from us. Alan and I went to the theater office for some minor first aid, and then four of us then went out to dinner.

During dinner, Jack was dead silent while the rest of us babbled on about the film and subsequent fight.

After that, I never heard from Jack again. In retrospect, then, I guess it all worked out fine.

57 comments:

  1. Wow. You come across as a huge cunt, OP.

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  2. Oh, and what exactly did this guy Jack even DO that made it such a bad time? Tried to touch the girl he was taking out to a movie? This doesn't come across as a bad date whatsoever. Hell, it sounds like Alan was being the real annoying jackass, really.

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  3. the OP was made to feel uncomfortable by her date, the other guy was annoying and then they got attacked by some random person, how is this not a bad date? The OP never tried to lay the blame all on any one person, just said the experience as a whole was kinda crappy.

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  4. It seems to me that the bad date was for Jack, not the OP. I mean, the OP was getting her movie paid for, brought a couple of friends along, and was joking about the experience by the end of the night. Sure she may have been uncomfortable, but I would expect a person to try some moves if they're BRINGING ME ON A DATE. I mean, if the OP really didn't want to go out with this guy, she could have just said no again, like she'd been doing.

    Let's look at this from Jack's POV. The girl he's been trying to get to date him finally does, and not only does she invite some of her friends on the date, she pretty much ignores him once they get there. Sounds like he got the way shittier end of the stick there.

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  5. I'm calling fake; the whole thing sounds a bit too contrived. And, I agree with Pinkerton completely, the OP sounds like a giant cunt. Would love to see a rebuttal on this one!

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  6. ^ I do have to agree, my fake sense was indeed tingling. It's the fight scene that does it for me, and especially the line "Alan knew martial arts, and I was a boxer and had been trained in street fighting, so while Jack and my roommate backed away, we fought the guy".

    It's like a line from Napoleon Dynamite. Is the OP training to be a cage fighter?

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  7. is www.abadcaseoftheboringpointlessstorywhoseonlyredeemingqualityisbrevity.com taken?

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  10. First of all, we don't know what sort of touching there was. The only adjective used was "fondling," and I'm pretty sure that was a fair amount of hyperbole.

    So, I'm confused here. You're saying that the guy has absolutely no right to try... anything? She agreed to go out on a date with him. He may have persisted for a while in asking her out, but it was still her that agreed to it. Of COURSE the dude is going to try something. That's why he was asking her out in the first place. They weren't 15, she knew that he liked her and agreed to go out to the movies with him. Maybe if she had said something like "Yes, I'll go out with you, but only as friends because I don't like you that way" then I'd agree with you. As it stands, I think this chick agreed because she got to see a free movie and invite her friends along, and this guy Jack was just supposed to somehow know that her agreeing to the date meant he wasn't supposed to try anything.

    So, basically, I completely disagree with your main point there.

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  11. No, I think she sounds like a cunt because she does; completely separate from alleged groping incident.

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  12. "You're saying that the guy has absolutely no right to try... anything? "

    Yes, that IS what we are saying. Going on a date with someone does NOT mean she is obligated to respond to his advances in a positive manner. What's more, he skipped right to fondling rather than something mild like hand-holding first. He tried, she rejected him. What's more, he decided to play the "I'm a strong man and you are a weak little woman; I can do what I want to you" card. Fuck him.

    As for the "well, she accepted his date offer", that's only because he couldn't take "no" for an answer when she rejected his date offers. If he had given up when she said "no", he wouldn't have landed himself in that situation.

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  13. I'm not saying she has to respond positively at all to the advances. Quite the opposite, in fact. He has the right to at least try something because she did accept the date. She can reject him all she wants, but my point was that since she accepted the offer of a date, he was going to think she was at least slightly interested in return, and probably try to kiss/touch his date as a result. I don't think there's some rule that there's no touching allowed on the first date. I will agree that if he started grabbing for titties right away he's in the wrong, but I don't think he's necessarily wrong for trying something after months of letting this girl know he likes her. (I'm not going to argue that "fondling" may have actually meant "he was trying to hold my hand, but if I put that in my story everyone will think I'm a bitch so I'll put fondling.")

    He had taken "no" for an answer plenty of times before. He would have taken "no" for an answer again. Since she pretty much sabotaged the date from the get-go, I can't believe that she gave him a date to give him a chance. While she could have easily said no again, she accepted his offer and hardly even gave him the time of day. I still maintain that it was for the free movie ticket.

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  14. ^ "He has the right to at least try something because she did accept the date."

    That right there is everything that is wrong with your argument. He has NO rights whatsoever to attempt to touch someone IN THE DARK on a FIRST DATE who clearly DOES NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED. And exactly as Baku pointed out, to immediately respond with, "I'd like to see you try and stop me" puts him straight into the "should be fucked by a full-speed locomotive" barrel.

    Yes, the whole fight scene sounds a little contrived, but for all we know it could have happened, and if it did, why the hell did he disappear from her life afterwards? Honestly, a "your mom and I kicked the crap out of a guy who jumped us in a movie theater on our fist date" story would have been freaking awesome!

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  16. Got that fellas? We have the greenlight and are a go. When out with a lady we're allowed to try anything, groping, fondling, whatever, it all goes.

    It is our right, nay, we are entitled to at least try something as long as she accepts the date, to hell with the "no touching" rule.

    Thanks for the sage advice Pinkerton, you're an ace. I'm off to go severely violate someone's personal space, and always remember that 'no' is just the start of the negotiations, never the finish.

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  17. Look, I think we all knew the OP was a bitch from the moment she agreed to go out with a man she absolutely despised. Jack had 0% chance to succeed with this girl, but being an attention whore she wanted to feel like she was attractive to somebody (this was probably a low point in her life).

    As for Jack's comment "I'd like to see you try" have none of you noticed that the OP was the one who threatened him FIRST? Or are you all so old-fashioned that you believe that women are allowed to make threats but guys can't? If a man were to tell me to do something - anything - and ended that sentence with "or I'll MAKE you" I wouldn't even LISTEN to what he said, there would be just immediately be blood on the floor. So while Jack may have crossed the line in his fondling (I say "may", because let us not forget here that we are listening to the heavily biased story of somebody already demonstrated to be a class-A bitch) the OP was way out of line in threatening him.

    Oh yeah, and I vote that the fight definitely never happened.

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  18. a. Team Everyone's a Douche
    b. Shenanigans on the fight
    c. It never says that JACK paid for the movie, so even if we were to pretend that paying for a date gives you a green light to do whatevs, he didn't have that magical right, because they went dutch.
    d. I'm made that I missed this argument b/c I was driving through the plains of Colorado, so everything I wanted to say was already said.

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  20. I'm the original poster - this story is NOTHING like the one I originally submitted. The original story was about how I was the bad date, and it was a pretty funny story. I never told him to keep his hands to himself, he never said 'I'd like to see you try'. We were both very polite. There was no theatre office (factual changes), and well, this is just a horrible rewrite. "It all worked out fine?" Who talks like that? This is such a misrepresentation of the original story, it makes me think that every story on this site must be completely false. The guy (Jack?) didn't harass me, he just had a horrible date with someone he thought was a cute little girl but turned out to be a fighter. This is horrible. I wish I hadn't put my real name on it. If I'd know the story would end up fake, I'd have used a fake name, too.

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  21. ^ Maybe you could put up a screenshot of the original email? Or Jared could do it since he received it? I'm not entirely sure if you are actually the OP, but no other OP has really complained about Jared's editing to this extent, so I have to wonder. It would really suck if all the stories here were skewed.

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  22. I don't have a screen shot (didn't think I'd need evidence) but I have the original story on my computer at work, so come Monday I can post it to you if you like. I feel like 'Jack' has been really incorrectly maligned. Yeah, he was a pest and I should have been firmer in saying no to the original date, but he wasn't mean or rude or aggressive. (Original story - I'd been saying no for a year and hanging up on him, but it didn't put him off).

    Oh, and the guy who attacked my flatmate's boyfriend didn't come at him 'hands and feet', he was biting 'Alan'. Really, it was the stupidest fight ever.

    The only thing that remains accurate are Alan's words 'I paid my money, I'll laugh if it's funny'. (The film was Kindergarten Cop, just to age myself horribly).

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  23. First of all, the story submission form says that we "reserve the right to edit for content." This means that we reserve the right to edit for content.

    As it happens, the edited version is actually more "quite a bit like" and less "NOTHING like" the original version. I won't give you a line-by-line dissection, but I do stand by any edits. Most feedback from story authors, when I receive any, is thankful for making the stories more concise, applying grammatical conventions, and eliminating any details that may confuse a reader.

    I'm sorry if your story was poorly received. To be fair, I wouldn't have posted it up if I didn't think it was entertaining.

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  24. Jared -- could you take my name of it and put 'Jared' instead, because this is your story, not my story.

    My story was 'the best date ever', not a wussy women's magazine whine.

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  25. Oh no, the Gnome doesn't think "my post is credible!" Look, you're entitled to have a low opinion of me, but if you want to have an online argument, please do us all a favor and rather than inseerting words in my mouth, READ MY ACTUAL POST. I never said *anything* about this girl having to accept harassment and assault. As a matter of fact, I specifically SAID Jack may have crossed the line there (and I only say "may" because I don't believe it actually happened). My comment about OP being a grade-A bitch is utterly unrelated to the fondling.

    I respect feminists, but YOU're not a feminist, you're just a douchebag who tries to slap the misogyny label on anybody who disagrees with them. The OP was totally a bitch not because of the (alleged) groping rejection, but rather because she went on a date with somebody she had zero interest in. People who go on dates with other people whom they secretly feel are beneath them generally do it to stroke their own egos, in my experience. Regardless of whether they're men or women, that makes them horrible human beings whom we should all despise. If the OP was male, the appropriate term would be bastard, but in this case the OP was female so the correct term is bitch.

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  26. The OP comes off terribly here, for all sorts of reasons. If that's the OP's fault, then fair enough, they deserve all the criticism that's coming to them and more. If that's Jared's fault due to over-editing, then he's doing the the OP a serious disservice and should probably take the story down (either way it's one of the least entertaining stories in a long while and hardly does ABCOTD any favours by staying up).

    If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that "editing" to the degree of changing facts and adding made-up dialogue really, really sucks.

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  27. Wolfsdream "Have none of you noticed that the OP was the one who threatened him FIRST?". She threatened him to stop touching her, should she not have and just allowed him to continue? If not then in your opinion what should she have done?

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  28. Personally, I think this story should stay up JUST for the comment thread it generated.

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  29. Michelle S., one easy solution that springs to mind is to simply switch seats and sit on the other side of her friends. I mean, it would have been a bit socially awkward, but perhaps less so than threatening the guy?

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  30. Why this thread even exists is a mystery to me. Unsolicited touching isn't. Fucking. Cool. Period. Ever been assaulted? Or molested? Or groped on a train? It's not fucking acceptable. The end. No argument to have.

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  32. It must have been a pretty boring story if Jared had to edit it so much.

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  33. Wow, feels like readers are empathizing with the loser in this story. I like Bernice/n/OP, a woman who can throw down is hawt (Björk!). Bernice wasn't attacking her date, just relating a bad date story, think any date that involves a fight qualifies as one.

    Relenting to go on a date doesn't make one a horrible human being, it happens and it certaintly doesn't entitle the deluded freak to try something, it's usually pretty obvious when someone is or isn't into you. In fact if you're out with someone you don't want to be out with it is your sworn duty to make it as unpleasant as possible to ensure you're never ever asked out by them again... not really but yeah.

    Wolfsdream I feel she was right in having 'threatened' him, it's not that big of a deal but I doubt her switching seats would've deterred this particular persistent fella. I think the point though is she shouldn't have to resort to threats or moving so he'd stop touching her, even though 'we don't know what sort of touching there was' ~ Pinkerton.

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  34. I should at that edited or not the sole purpose of this site, its very existence is for the benefit of my amusement & if Jared has to tinker with it here and there to achieve this then so be it.

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  35. Oh shit! You mean that all the stories on here aren't all exactly as submitted!?

    Seriously, did no one question that each person who has submitted a story has done so with perfect grammar and diction, with proper flow and spacing?

    Of course, if the stories were edited beyond that... shame shame Jared. I'm sure most would agree that the original, unedited version should be uploaded.

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  36. Wolfdreams01 Jack doesn't seem the type who would let a thing like her switching seats discourage him. Her reaction or threat to have him stop is reasonable. How would you react to persistent unwanted physical contact from someone? I agree with Sawyer, no one should have to resort to anything to have someone else stop touching them and it shouldn't require any compromise on his or her part.

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  37. Wow, Wolfsdreams01 shows his true colors, and he turns out to be quite the douchebag!

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  38. ::sigh:: OK, let me explain it slowly, so even some of the mentally handicapped people (such as the Gnome) can follow the bouncy ball.

    Everybody is attractive to SOMEBODY, right? Even idiots like Coriolanus can find somebody who considers their aimless comments "funny." So logically speaking, there is somebody out there for Jack. Obviously that person is not the OP, and he'd be better off looking elsewhere, but Jack doesn't know that, does he?

    When the OP agrees to go out on a date with Jack simply to "shut him up," she is being totally disrespectful of his time. There are undoubtedly people who value his company and would love to date him, even if she can't see it. For example, several people here have called me a douchebag and probably wouldn't date me because they think I'm misogynist, but I'm cool with that, because I know that there are plenty of people who would date me, and in fact am still good friends with a few feminists I hooked up with. (Separately, NOT together.) So their opinions don't matter because these people are just dust in the wind. The point at which they stop being minor annoyances and cross the line into being bad human beings is when they have a real tangible impact on my life, such as wasting my time, money, or resources.

    My point is that the OP crossed that line when she agreed to go out with somebody she KNEW she had no interest in. Is anybody here seriously naive enough to claim she did it to "get him off her back?" When has that approach EVER worked? I call shenanigans. 99% of the time when a girl does this it's because she's feeling like she's unattractive and wants somebody less cool to fawn over her and make her feel desirable. That's NOT cool at all. She may have thought Jack was lame but somebody out there might have loved him and wasting his time simply to feed her vanity was utterly a bitch move.

    I'm not going to debate the groping. In fact, I admit that I was wrong to even MILDLY defend it by suggesting it didn't happen. But all of you retards who are claiming I'm a misogynist are completely missing the point. I'm not saying the OP was a bitch because of how she reacted to the groping, I'm talking ENTIRELY about the first paragraph where she establishes that she clearly views herself as being "out of Jack's league" but agrees to go out with him anyway.

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  39. ^Nothing to disagree with here.

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  42. After reading the thread, I feel compelled to say that editing -- while this can be helpful -- should really ~only~ be used to make the story easier to read and comprehend. Adding details that didn't exist in the original (or removing them) changes it from editing to paraphrasing. It's like when you have a bunch of people in a circle and a story is whispered in the next person's ear around the whole group, and it's an entirely different story by the time it gets back to the original teller.

    I'm interested in seeing the story as submitted, so I could know just how much the stories are edited prior to being posted. This isn't the first instance of a complaint about content being embellished when "editing" ( see:
    http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2011/06/as-opposed-to-slightly-less-hot-one.html ).

    Lately, as I read these stories, I have to wonder, "What was the original story like, and just how different is the posted version?"

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  43. ^^^^Yeah yeah Wolfdreams, the OP is such the bitch because you know, after being harassed for a date from someone she has no interest in, and telling him no MANY times, she finally relents and goes out with him ONCE, and in a group date no less. During which he proceeds to act like a complete jackass (much like yourself in your posts).

    But no! Jack's the good guy! He's just misunderstood! There's someone out there who will date him and this OP treated him so bad. Yeah, nevermind the constant unwanted attention he threw her way, or the complete asshat behavior during their date. The OP is a bitch!

    And yes Wolfdreams01, you are a douchebag indeed.

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  44. @Wolfdreams01 - firstly, the OP didn't make him ask her out over and over. That was his choice, and he's a grown man. He could've just stopped if he didn't want to waste his time on a date with someone who was clearly uninterested in him.

    Secondly, the reason women eventually cave in these scenarios is because one excuse the persistent rejectee usually uses to be persistent is "you've never gone out with me, so how do you know we're incompatible?" By going out with him, she can then use his logic against him and say "look, now we've gone out, and we're STILL incompatible, so stop asking already."

    But please, do go on digging that hole you're in. It's rather entertaining.

    OP, I hope you come back and post your version of this story! I for one am curious to know how much it go edited.

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  45. I was just surprised how wildly out of control this thread got while I was gone.

    1. To Wolfie and everyone for/against Wolfie: if you go to the top of the page, there's a link to the forum. THAT is where you should have your flame wars. Scrolling through your internet fighting is tedious.

    2. I'd think that after everything we've read on this site, more people would be almost RELIVED to discover that these stories could very well exist only in Jared's fucked up little imagination. If these awful, crazy people aren't real, then they don't really exist, and our faith in the general goodness of humanity can be returned to us.

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  46. ^Wouldn't that make Jared something of an anarchist? Sowing seeds of paranoia and distrust into the online community? Not something we were already short of, by the way.

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  47. AUGH! Must have rounded number! 50!

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  48. Hmmm, still 50, but not for long HAHAHAHA!!!!

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  49. This thread is still alive?

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  50. Baku, I couldn't help but come back to it too, just to see. ;) FIFTY-THIRD!

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  53. I know it's cheating but now it's fifty-six, 56th;)!

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  54. I went on a date to the movies when, suddenly, NINJAS!

    #57

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