8/28/2011

So Much of Me Lies in Your Eyes

Email Sent in by Patrick:

Your pictures have burned onto my retinas. Can you not see how beautiful you are? I must meet you. I've hardly read your profile (though I will go back and do so forthwith!) and had to write you a message immediately.

I love your smile and your dimples! You are so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so beautiful that I will die if you do not write me back.

The last guy I wrote to was back in 2005 and he responded promptly and the two of us went out for a long time together. We lived together and he was my lover. I love being able to say that I have a lover and I hope that you are my next one.

If you don't write me back and I die then you will be blamed for my death. Passive murder is still murder and you will be brought up on extreme manslaughter charges. I know my next lover when I see him and I swear swear swear swear swear swear that you are him. Please be him oh god oh please.

Cherie


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(Patrick says: "She wrote me five more times. I didn't respond to any of her messages. I hope that her end was quick and painless.")

4 comments:

  1. You monster! So callously throwing away this young woman's life!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Meh, pathetic-desperate doesn't quite cut it these days. "If you don't write me back I'm gonna die"... preposterous! You can't go wrong with angry-desperate, as in "If you don't write me back, you sack of shit, I'm gonna sneak into your bedroom when you're asleep. I already know where you live." No one likes a sad sack, but everyone fears a lunatic stalker.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You monster! So callously throwing away easy poon! Oh wait, that actually makes you a good person in this social climate. Never mind.

    ReplyDelete

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