8/04/2011

Rebuttal Post: Long Day's Journey Into Madness

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(Jane, given the name "Tina" in Long Day's Journey Into Madness, has submitted her own version of events on that date. Jane says, "A friend of mine alerted me to this story, and I was astonished. I appreciate the opportunity to set things straight. I hope Steven reads it.")


Rebuttal Story Sent in by Jane:

Steven and I were hiking in the Poconos. That much is true. As for Steven forgetting the can opener, that much is also true. As for me saying, "I'm starving!" that's true as well. However, what Steven didn't figure out, surprisingly, was the fact that I meant it with 100% sarcasm. I even suggested that we break the cans open with rocks until he mentioned his knife.

He pulled out his knife and it had rust on it. Nothing tremendous, but not something I wanted to risk getting into the food. I said, "I think I'll just bang a can open with a rock."

"Suit yourself," he said, then we each opened a can our own way, and we both ate. I didn't storm off or fly off the handle, which would have been an insane act, especially given where we were.

After lunch, we continued our hike without incident until he began slapping at his face, as if bugs were attacking him.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he replied, "All of a sudden I'm really itchy. Wait here."

He took off deep into the woods, away from where I could see him. I assumed that he was going to check himself for ticks, bugs, or whatever else, or maybe apply bug spray to certain areas. I did as he said and I waited.

He didn't return after 10 minutes, and I yelled and called for him. I walked a little way into the woods in the direction I last saw him go. I shouted some more, then pulled out a trail map I had and a pen and wrote him a note, saying that I would be back at the car, waiting for him. He clearly wasn't anywhere nearby, and we had to go back to the car anyway to grab the tent. I leaned the map up against a tree and put a rock on it to weigh it down, in a place he'd be sure to spot it if he came back that way.

I returned to the car. It was gone. I tried phoning him, but there was no signal there at all. He had left, apparently, and so I didn't see much choice in the matter. I walked down the dirt road, back towards civilization.

I had been walking for a short while when his car came down the road toward me from the direction of the closest town. He rolled down his window and yelled, "What are you doing out here?"

I said, "You didn't come back! I waited for you right at that spot and you disappeared! I left you a note that I was going to wait by the car, but when I got to the lot it was gone!"

"I had to run to town. I told you to wait there!"

Stupefied that he had expected me to wait upwards of an hour, but wanting to keep the peace, I replied, "Well, at least we found each other," and I moved to jog around his car and enter it, but instead he drove off, on his own, back toward the park.

Frustrated and frightened by his behavior, I continued down the road, away from the park. Over an hour later, his car pulled up to me again. "What the fuck is your problem?" he asked.

I said, "Me? You took off, leaving me out here! You've treated me like shit all day. I'll get back on my own."

He said, as he wrote, "It's a 20-mile walk to anywhere. Let me drive you."

I was stubborn, and possibly not smart, but anywhere felt safer than with him. I said, "I'll get a ride from someone."

He drove off, leaving me behind. As for his claim that I wrote him a nasty "You come pick me up now," text, that was fiction. I did hitch a ride with strangers, which was, admittedly, foolish. However, I made it back home after calling a few friends for help.

I bear him no ill will, but I sincerely hope that he gets himself evaluated.


(See Steven's original post here.)

18 comments:

  1. I totally buy the rebuttal. The original sounds too much like the guy is trying very hard to prove he was not at fault.

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  2. Yeah, the rebuttal certainly seems more plausible, but these accounts are so disparate it's hard to take either one seriously. Three sides to every story I guess.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Lesson learned: Next time, eat your magic mushrooms *after* you get your campsite set up.

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  5. Rebuttal posts are the absolute best. I don't completely believe either of them, but I believe the original a litte more.

    Original had the really illogical bit about her waiting at the car, presumably for hours, just to tell him she wasn't riding with him! And then asking to be picked up later! That makes no sense.

    This version is even less believable though: "I think I'll just bang a can open with a rock."??? The rusty knife? Running to town for bug spray in the middle of a hike (without even saying so)? That makes even less sense.

    Of course the real answer is probably somewhere in between, I guess. Either way it's a pretty bizarre story.

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  6. I literally squealed and waved my little arms in the air with excitement when I read that this was a rebuttal post. It's been too long.

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  7. I agree with the rebuttal, I'd MUCH rather open my food cans with the sterile uncontaminated rocks of nature than a terrible rusty old knife.

    But seriously, banging it open with a rock compared to a clean knife opening? I don't buy this version at all. I can't see how hitch hiking seemed like a good idea compared to getting a ride from someone you at least know.

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  8. ^^^ I know, the whole "I'd rather hitchhike than accept a ride from a guy I just had a tiff with" aspect is the most surreal part of the whole tale, and that's the part they both agree on!

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  9. I am filled with unanswered questions. Is it even possible to open a can of food by banging it on a rock? Why the hell would anyone bring cans of vegetables on a hike anyway, as opposed to portable food that doesn't need to be opened or heated, like sandwiches and cut up celery or apples? Why would you expect to find another man with a can opener in the woods? Why would you go back to town to get bug spray, but not go back to get better food than sealed cans of cold vegetables? Why would two people who are so incompetent stray any further from civilization than the sidewalk in front of the Walmart?

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  10. ^well how else did they open tin cans back in the stone age?

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  11. As always, the truth feels somewhere between the two, though I admit closer to this one than the first.

    Though I should point out that in his version, you're insane, and in yours, merely stupid.

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  12. Regardless of who was right, this story is by far the more hilarious. One hiker abandons their companion for an hour in the wilderness to buy bug spray, the other opens cans by bashing them with rocks... if this date was a movie it would be "Dumb & Dumber." :-)

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  13. Just found this site today, the comments are often funnier than the stories!!

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  14. I believe the Original and i'll tell you why. It makes more sense that she got mad at him for not bringing a can opener (she probably thought it was common sense cuz they would be eating out of cans and probably was hungry which led her to be b*tchy.) and i could so see her at that point walking off and him getting mad so he went back to his car which explains why he would drive away when she attempted to get back in the car... Her side doesn't make sense, he's smacking his face, randomly walking into woods leaving her there and then driving off as she attempted to get in the car for no reason? Doesn't make sense.. She seems spiteful, ignorant, b*tchy..

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  15. I'm the one who commented above this comment. I changed my mind. I don't believe either. I truly think 95% of these stories are made up by the person who runs this site.. I kno he re-edits them, but why? and why change things around on some of the other stories? And why do only like 15% of the comments have a 'response from the ''OP'' on here' but the lady who wrote this rebuttal didn't leave a comment under steve's original story. Or her own story.. If it was a real person he/she would of commented under his story telling him that he's a lying piece of shit who needs to get 'evaluated'..

    Idk, As much as i wanna believe these are real, for entertainment purposes, I somehow keep doubting these stories.. O well i try to keep pretending, it's more entertaining that way.

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  16. I believe the original WAY more. As a girl, I know I've done crazy shit before... I'm sure she was expecting him to fight for her and then she just got too emotional and aggressive. She waited for so long but then got more angry it took him so long to wait for her. This story looks EXACTLY like something I would have done at 19. Then made up this illogical rebuttal to make him look bad.

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  17. I dated a guy about 15 years ago who did this to me. I went a little ways into the woods to pee and heard him take off. The town we lived in was about 20 minutes away so he was gone at least 40 min plus however long it took him to buy cigarettes and beer. I was so scared. I knew he'd come back eventually, but I didn't have a cell phone back then so I had no way of contacting anyone. He couldn't understand why I started crying when he came back. I dated that asswipe for 1.5 years and it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.

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  18. I dated a guy about 15 years ago who did this to me. I went a little ways into the woods to pee and heard him take off. The town we lived in was about 20 minutes away so he was gone at least 40 min plus however long it took him to buy cigarettes and beer. I was so scared. I knew he'd come back eventually, but I didn't have a cell phone back then so I had no way of contacting anyone. He couldn't understand why I started crying when he came back. I dated that asswipe for 1.5 years and it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.

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