8/15/2011

At Least You're Out of the Closet

Story Sent in by John:

Cora and I met online, and we arranged to meet up at a restaurant. However, we never made it there. A half-hour before our date, she called me up in a panic.

"Can you come over here?" she asked, "There's a huge bug in my room and I don't know who else to call."

"You want me to come over to your house to kill a bug?"

"Yes. Oh God, hurry."

She gave me her address, and I drove over. She led me up to her room, handed me a flashlight, and pointed to her closet.

"It ran in there," she said, "It had a thousand legs and–and– I'm sorry. Please just get it."

I entered her walk-in closet with the flashlight and bent down. She slammed the door shut behind me, locked its doorknob lock, and from what I could see from the light that spilled under the door, she shut off her room light. She called, "See you!"

I yelled, "Very funny. Let me out, please."

She replied, "I'm going to call my boyfriend. He's going to be pissed." Then, she laughed and I heard her walk off.

I waited about ten minutes before I made a move, as I wasn't sure if she had actually left, or if she was planning any other surprises. I tried the door. Locked, as mentioned. I forced it open and stepped out, into her room.

It was still dark, but light streamed in from the hallway and I could hear a television on somewhere, and the sound of Cora talking. I didn't want to take the chance as to whether or not she was serious about a boyfriend. Her actions, regardless, made me want to escape.

I crept my way down the upstairs hall. The television was on downstairs, but I couldn't see it or who was watching it from where I was. One step at a time, I sneaked down the steps and made it to the ground floor without alerting anyone. The smell of buttered popcorn was overwhelming.

I peeked around the corner of the staircase and quickly jerked my head back. Cora was watching the television, talking on her cell phone, and eating popcorn, in full view of the front door, which is where I had hoped to go. I turned and slinked my way toward where I thought the back door would be.

The back door wasn't hard to find, and I slipped out. The screen door banged a bit as it shut, and I hurried for my car.

Just as I opened my car door out in front of the house, Cora opened her house's front door, screamed something unintelligible, and ran for me. I pulled away as fast as possible. In my rear view, I saw her running after my car and flailing her arms.

She didn't call me, and I sure as hell wasn't going to contact her again after that night.

33 comments:

  1. She is crazy, but oh my freaking god what a coward you are.

    Here is how you should have acted:

    "Door locks"
    "Not funny, open please"
    "If you don't open within 10 seconds i will break it down"
    *break down door*
    *walk calmy out front door*

    Waiting 10 minutes??? Sneaking out back door?
    She's a crazy bird, not the incredible hulk..
    Man up!

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  2. Confronting someone in their own home has the potential stir up all kinds of complications - especially if they're nuts. He did the right thing.

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  3. Given she's probably done this before, you didn't call the cops, why? False imprisonment anyone?

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  5. Prove it - they ask to see the busted the wardrobe door where he broke out?

    Of course, my personal fav would be to all them from your mobile while you're still in the closet, wait until you hear the knock at the door and then start screaming to be let out and then let her freak the fuck out.

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  6. ^ Yes. Calling from the mobile would have done it.

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  7. Should've called the cops while still in the closet, given he had a cell phone, sure.

    Sneaking out, though, was a good move. She could've had a gun.

    Bitch be crazy.

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  8. Shattered looks was just looking for trouble.

    Chances are he was pretty embarassed about the whole thing and didn't want to call the cops.

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  9. did you feel like R Kelly, OP?

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  10. Confronting that crazy bitch in her own house could have ended badly for the OP. I doubt this chick is above getting physical, calling the cops and manipulating them into thinking it was the OP's fault. Because honestly lets face it, the cops show up to a domestic violence call and there is a hysterical (albeit crazy) bitch there who may or may not look like she's been getting physical with the guy also involved, unless the guy has some very visible wounds/marks of his own, he is fucked. And if this crazy bitch is good at keeping her lying act together, again I say OP would’ve been fucked, false imprisonment or not.

    Yeah yeah, hopefully it would all come out in the wash, but I’m sure we all seen some sort of new story on someone accused of this very thing and how things went horribly horribly wrong for them. I’ve personally seen something like this happen. The OP isn’t a pussy at all for trying to get out of there without her knowing (at least IMO).

    TL;DR: OP did the right thing trying to GTFO like a ninja.

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  11. I think you left your balls in that closet. Something more should have been done...

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  12. I would have shit in her closet and wiped my ass with one of her blouses for starters...

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  13. Honestly at this point I would be taking a long hard look in the mirror and wondering what it is about me that makes others think that they can just lock me in a closet, walk down stairs, eat popcorn, watch TV and talk on the phone without a care in the world.

    I mean seriously "Very funny. Let me out, please", please?..

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  14. What Howie said. Also, what Shattering Looks said. 10 minutes? Doormat.

    I woulda kicked the door down within 1 minute, and calmly left.

    To those who go on about how the girl could have had him arrested, I think the door lock broken outwards would provide enough evidence that he was locked in by her.

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  15. ^"officer, I found this strange man going through my clothes so I locked him in and called 911 and hid in the bushes until you got here. I was afraid he would attack me."

    How's that for your evidence exonerating you?

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  16. Howie's idea is a good one though the crazy girl could use it as evidence if she decided to call the police, it has DNA in it after all.

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  17. Jonathon - how does that work if HE's the one who called them and not HER?

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  18. Jason's got the right idea, the rest of you are just as cowardly as the OP.
    A girl just locked you in the closet, and you think it's OK to wait 10 min and sneak out the back? I repeat, man the fuck up.

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  20. Sawyer and Gnome = yes. Sawyer's response actually made me gigglesnort so loudly my cat ran off to the other side of the apartment. (Full disclosure: I have a loud laugh usually.)

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  21. And when Shattering Looks is taken away in a squad car because the girl ran a "poor defenseless female" routine past the cops, we'll all have a nice laugh about it.

    Seriously, is anyone going to believe that she locked you in her closet? I don't think so.

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  22. ^ Only way a cop would believe that is if she already had a history of being insane. I bet that, much like the OP, her other suckers didn't call the cops either.

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  23. ^ Unless, of course, she's a serial killer and the other suckers are dead.

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  24. ....

    If i went home with a stranger that locked me in her closet i would give her a fair warning for a couple of seconds, say 10-15, then break down the door and leave. (like stated before) In what world the police suddenly appears i am not sure.

    Anyone who thinks waiting 10 min is fine, enjoy having the world walking all over you for the next 40ish years

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  25. I'm wondering why people are surprised that he sat in there for 10 minutes. This guy drove to this girl's house TO KILL A BUG FOR HER, for fuck's sake. Most guys would have probably laughed at her.

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  27. How slow are you to require 10 minutes in a strangers closet to ponder what to do? It's not rocket science; maybe she's being playful, if so she will respond to your initial comments in some fashion. However, if she leaves the room and you don't hear anything for 10-15 seconds, i can assure you, she won't be coming back. There, i just saved you 9,5 minutes++ for the next time you find yourself in this situation. I am quite confident you won't have any problems with the police or huge boyfriends lurking around just waiting for you to pop out of the closet. Please send thanks and a small donation to my usual account.

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  29. @Shattering

    This girl was crazy enough to lock a stranger in her closet, then laugh it off and pretend like he wasn't even there.

    So, not coming back? No proof of that, and I'd tend to believe the opposite.

    However, as a partial agreement to your standpoint I will say this. If a girl locked me in her closet followed by mild threats, I wouldn't wait around to try and figure out what was going on. I wouldn't have busted the dorr down and walked out the front door, but I sure wouldn't have waited for 10 minutes to make my move.

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  30. Yeah, I'm with most of the people who aren't Shattering (which, as far as I can tell, tends to be my position on most stories he posts on). Here's another way his scenario ends. You wait thirty seconds or so, kick open the door, crazy lady is waiting with a gun/knife/axe/spear/novelty spray flower full of acid/bike chain with a padlock on the end.

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