7/17/2011

Why "Very Single" Should Be a Relationship Status

Story Sent in by Brenda:

Trevor and I spoke online for a few weeks before meeting up in person. He offered to take me out to a bar that had just opened in the middle of downtown. We made it there early enough on a Friday evening so that the crowd wasn't too big. We found seats at the bar. However, after a couple of hours, the place was thronged with people.

Trevor said, "Good thing we got here early enough to get seats."

I nodded. He gave me an expectant look and I asked him, "What's up?"

He said, "You don't think it's a good thing that we got here early enough to get seats?"

I replied, "No, I think it was a great idea."

He said, "Then that's your cue to say, 'Great idea, Trevor. You were smart to bring us here early.'"

I rolled my eyes and said, "Great idea, Trevor. Thanks for bringing us here early."

He pulled out his smartphone and tapped away on it, which I thought was poor form. When he finished typing, he put it down and said, "I just made my Facebook status: 'A girl at a bar just called me smart. It's shaping up to be a great evening.'"

I said, "That's great."

He asked, "What else do you think of me? I can update my status right from here."

I said, "I think it's a little weird that you're updating your status while we're out on a date."

"Ooh!" he said, "That's good." He tapped away on his device and after a minute, looked up at me with a big smile and said, "Now I wrote, 'She called me weird. Uh-oh. Maybe she means in a good way?'"

I didn't answer. He asked, "Do you mean it in a good way?"

I replied, "You work at in a college lab, right?"

He replied, "Yes. I'll assume you mean that I'm weird in a good way. Are you wearing a bra?"

"What? Yes."

Out came the phone again. He tapped something in and gave me a wink when he was done. "Now I wrote that we're talking about your bra. This is gold!"

"Okay, you know what?" I asked him, and then I stood up.

He guessed, "Are you leaving?"

I said, "Yes. I don't think this is going to work."

He slapped his hand on the bar and said, "I don't believe this. You're just like the rest of them!"

Before I could reply, another young woman, who was among the many people jockeying for a seat at the bar, slid between Trevor and myself and took my previously occupied seat.

He asked her, "Are you wearing a bra?"

That's all I had to hear before leaving poor Trevor alone to update his status with however many numerous adventures he was sure to encounter that evening.

6 comments:

  1. OMG I'm reading this fun site and don't know what to write as a comment! lol :)

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  2. What a complete jackass! Doesn't he realize that Twitter offers superior voice-to-text recognition and can update facebook automatically? It's obvious that his lack of technological competence will keep him single forever.

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  3. Gotta love those guys who twist words around.

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  4. He was probably posting to prove he could get a girl our make an ex jealous.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Jared, inre: the title of this story:

    Agreed. But no one would be self-aware to use it.

    ReplyDelete

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