Two Girls and a Geyser

Story Sent in by Angela:

Back in high school, one of my classmates, Jon, took me out to see a movie for our first date. In the middle of it, he jabbed me with his thumb.

I asked him, "What was that for?"

He replied, "I wanted to see if you were awake."

I whispered back, "I am. Don't do that again."

Five minutes later, he did it again. "Sorry," he said, "Wanted to make sure that you were awake."

I moved a seat away from him. He moved into my formerly occupied seat. I said, "Don't jab me again. Seriously."

A half-hour later, the film was almost over, and he jabbed me again, twice! This time, I stood up and left the theater, then called up a friend, Kayley, to come pick me up.

I had been waiting about 15 minutes for her when Jon came out and told me, "You missed the end of the movie."

I replied, "If you had stopped jabbing me when I asked you to, then I wouldn't have."

He said, "Just for that, I'm not going to tell you how it ends."

"Fine. My friend's coming to pick me up, so have a good night, I guess."

He said, "Don't leave. I was just having fun. Let me make it up to you. I'll take you and your friend out to dinner."

He apologized over and over, enough so that when Kayley arrived, I asked her if she'd be up for spending time with Jon and I for a little bit. Jon repeated that he'd pay for everything, and off we went to a Sonic, in Kayley's car. I sat in the front passenger seat, and Jon sat in back.

Once we had our food in the car, and Jon had paid for it, we ate. Not a minute later, from the back seat, Jon spewed a mix of milkshake and burger all over Kayley's windshield.

Kayley shouted, and I turned back to Jon at once. Burger and shake dribbled down his chin, and he laughed. "I'm sorry," he said, "I just thought of something funny. I swear I won't do it again." He took another big bite of his burger and swigged down more shake.

Kayley yelled, "You're cleaning this up!"

In response, Jon spewed out another mouthful of Sonic, this time all over Kayley and I, turning his head so that he was sure to hit both of us.

I said, "That's it," then jumped out of the car, opened his back door, and pulled at him. "Get out of the car!"

He was strong, but Kayley, thankfully, jumped out and pushed from the other side. He fought back for a little bit, then laughed and actually slid out himself.

"What are you going to do?" he asked us, "Just leave me here? You can't. My car's back at the theater, like seven miles away."

We jumped back into the car and locked the doors. He knocked on them. "Seriously, I'm sorry. Just let me back in."

Kayley turned on the car and shifted it into reverse. Jon's smile faded, and he yelled, "Seriously, you're not going to leave me here. You're not going to leave me here!"

He ran from the side of the car to the back, but Kayley was too quick. She backed out of the spot and burned rubber right out of the lot. Jon yelled, "Hey! Hey!" but we were gone.

The next time I saw him in school, he came up to me and said, "Hey, I made it back to my car. I jogged back and made it in a half-hour."

I said, "That's great."

"I was thinking: I don't think we should go out again."

Without hesitation, I said, "Me neither."


  1. One for the Movie, Spew for the Road.....

    Complete idiot. My guess is he's not that much more accomplished at dating today.

    Maybe we need a special section here just for High School Dating stories.

  2. Some people deserve to be put down.

  3. We might need a section for High School Dating stories were it not for the fact that many dating stories of people in their twenties, thirties, forties, etc. sound much like this one. Sadness.

  4. Many teenagers don't realize that there's a fine line between class clown and asshole.

  5. This is why girls in school prefer older guys.

  6. I think he kept jabbing her because she looked like she was bored of the movie obviously.

    And he spat out his food because of that funny joke about the ant and the Dewey decimal system.

  7. it's just a simple case of escalating snowballs and hair tugging...

    This guy got his first kiss by pulling a girls hair and prob his second by throwing snowballs on another. He then figured that in high school he needed to ramp it up a bit and ended up with thumbjabbing and foodspewing. At least he thought enough on the 30 min home that he figured out that they probably shouldn't see each other again...


Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.