7/08/2011

Something Fun to Explain to Your Coworkers

Email Sent in by Don:

Dear Mr. Man:

I like your profile and you're welcome to check mine out.  I guess this is one thing that I need to get out of the way and I want you to hear me out before replying back (or not as the case may be).

Men squirt into women.  La dee da.  Women then have headaches, weight gain, hormonal imbalances, and emotional roller coasters for nine months and then out comes baby.  I want children (your profile says that you do too) but I never thought this was fair.

We won't be having babies immediately but sometime not long after I get into my next relationship I'll want to start on that.  The man I end up with must be many things but above all I will want his demonstrated empathy.  For the entire time that I am pregnant he is to wear an empathy suit.

An empathy suit simulates pregnancy - the weight gain, the body malformation, the back pain, etc.  It won't kill you to feel what I'm going through and I need to ensure that a man will truly empathize with me before I commit to anything.

If you are an empathetic guy then great.  Write back and we'll see where this road of life takes us.  If not then good luck and godspeed to you.

Sincerely,
Jennifer


*********************************************
They actually make these: The Empathy Belly Pregnancy Simulator

8 comments:

  1. How many ways can I possibly say "I'd rather rub my dick dry"?

    ReplyDelete
  2. At least guys won't be able to complain that Jennifer didn't put out plenty of warning signs and alarms that she'll make her future man miserable.

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  3. Can her "empathy suit" be an irremovable device that constantly whines in her ear?

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  4. Fine, but I insist that you wear a "fat and hairy" suit so you will see what *my* life is like. Enjoy the sweat, baby doll.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jennifer's message, condensed into ten seconds.

    "Hi generic male; I like your profile! Let's immediately plan to have babies and discuss my sadistic costumed roleplay fetish!

    Also, empathy!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. I want to know whether anyone has ever responded to Jennifer's tantalizing message!

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  8. ahahahaha oh my god. What a crazy-awesome fetish.

    For funsies: http://www.parenting.com/article/the-day-dad-was-pregnant

    ReplyDelete

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