7/25/2011

And What Do We Do With Witches?

Story Sent in by Stephen:

Maggie and I had maintained an online correspondence for a couple of weeks when I asked her out. She was a lapsed Christian with some pretty strong New Age beliefs. I didn't have a problem with that, as I try to be of open mind.

At our first dinner together, we had a good talk about ourselves and our various belief systems. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and when I came back, she seemed even more bubbly than she had previously been.

After about five minutes of talking, drinking my water, and walking some more, she became less animated and more visibly frustrated. She'd ask me, "How are you feeling?" every couple of minutes, as if it was expected that I would be feeling any different from a minute prior.

Finally, she said, "Maybe you should go to the bathroom again."

"Why?" I asked, "I feel fine."

"Just go," she said, "I might have a surprise for you."

Hesitant but curious, I went back to the bathroom and washed my hands for a minute or two, then returned. She had a big smile and I asked her, "Okay, where's the surprise?"

She replied, "Oh, you'll see. You'll love it."

After a few more minutes, she became more frustrated, as if the surprise, whatever it was, was supposed to somehow appear, but didn't.

"This is really pissing me off," she said, "Try going away one more time."

"No. What's the surprise?"

"I'm not telling."

"Then I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine!" she hollered, then took a vial of clear liquid out from her purse and poured its contents into my water glass.

I yanked my water away, allowing some of her concoction to spill upon the table. "What is that?" I asked her.

She said, "It's supposed to be love potion, but it's worthless!" She shoved it back into her purse.

"Have you been pouring that into my water all this time? What's in it?"

"All natural stuff, but it took me a month to brew and it's supposed to act instantly. It's worthless."

I replied, "You put some stuff in my water, hoping that I'd fall for you."

She said, "Well, it won't do any harm to you, and it's worthless."

"What was in it?"

"Worthless stuff."

I said, "If you don't tell me what was in it, I'm probably going to go."

"Nothing harmful!" she said, "Don't go!"

"Then tell me what was in it."

"It's secret."

"Okay. Bye." I up and left, as simple as that. She didn't try to follow me. Aside from some gas, I didn't feel any adverse effects, but I still have no idea what she put into my drink.

10 comments:

  1. A Bad Case of I Really Should Have Called The Cops Yet Didn't For Some Inexplicable Reason.

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  2. There isn't really any point to calling the cops unless you want to press charges, obviously not something this guy wanted to do.

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  3. The cops could, at least, have had the glass analysed and figured out exactly what was in it. For all the OP knows he drank a harmful but nonfatal amount of some uknown substance which may or may not have other effects over time.

    Even if he ultimately didn't press charges, calling the cops would have established:
    (1). What exactly was in her potion.
    (2). That spiking other people's drinks is a bad, bad thing that she should absolutely not do again.

    As it is, she'll probably just be more sneaky next time and the next guy could end up with a lot worse than some gas.

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  4. The supernatural seem to go hand in hand with gas! See also http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2010/07/behold-power.html

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  5. Andrew - the cops aren't likely to send a sample back to the lab for testing. The wait time in most labs is atrocious.

    Instead, this guy would have had to pay an independent lab to analyze things if he wanted to pursue legal action, which would have been annoying and expensive.

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  6. Weirdo what is she 12?? I assumed the animatedness was due to a cheeky coke bump when he visited the bathroom.. obviously not since it lasted only a few minutes

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  7. Taco is correct; the cops would only send something back to the lab in the event of a homicide, rape, or other serious crime.

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  8. Exactly. Chances are they would have looked at him, asked "how do you feel", and since he would have said fine, they would have dismissed it.

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  9. I'm with castle on this one. Why would you want to roofie a guy? All you have to do is ask.

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  10. ^ As Frasier once said, "Why would we withhold sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want!"

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