7/31/2011

Agent and a Lady

Story Sent in by Anne:

Fred and I were in the middle of dinner on our first date when he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He returned with a big grin.

"What is it?" I asked him.

He replied, "You're in for a surprise. Just wait."

I didn't have a reason to think that he was up to anything nefarious, so I continued talking to him until about 15 minutes later, when he looked at his phone, smiled, and excused himself again.

I anticipated what I thought was the surprise with a mixture of slight concern but mostly excitement. Not a minute later, a guy with long hair and a little taller than Fred arrived at the table.

"Anne?" he asked, "I'm Joseph. Fred's friend."

I looked around the restaurant for Fred but didn't see him. Confused, I asked, "What's this about? Is Fred okay?"

Joseph said, "Yeah. He called me in to let you down for him. He's not interested in seeing you anymore."

For clarification, I asked, "You're here to end the date… for Fred?"

Joseph said, "Yeah. You're just not his type. Sorry. He wants to know if you'd mind paying for your half of the meal, or if you'd like him to pay for it."

I replied, "Excuse me? Seeing as he sent you to end the date in the middle of things, I think that him paying for the date is the least he could do."

Joseph nodded. "That's fine. He will."

To be sure that I wasn't misunderstanding things, I asked Joseph, "Is this really for real? This isn't a joke?"

Joseph said, "It isn't. Sorry."

I said, "Oh, you have nothing to be sorry about. I don't date cowards, myself," and then I stood up.

"Fred's in the men's room," Joseph said, "He doesn't like confrontation. We'll take care of everything from here. Have a good night."

"I will," I said, then walked straight for the men's room, opened the door, and shouted in, "Hey Fred! You're a coward!"

I waited for a response. None came, so I closed the door and left.

10 comments:

  1. Wow. What a loser.

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  2. Cause it's so much nicer to let your date down in the middle of dinner via an intermediary. Way to go Fred and friend!

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  3. This is what his idiot friends will hear:

    Fred: You should've seen her guys, she was so devastated when I rejected her, tell 'em Joseph. She like came into the bathroom & totally made a scene, crying and begging me to give her a 2nd chance but I was like nah uh.

    Idiot Friend #1: Wow Fred, I can't believe you dissed her, you're the man.

    Idiot Friend #4: Yeah burn on her, whoo Fred!!!

    Fred: Next week I'm going on another date with this hot chick, you should see her she's like a totes smoking babe with a banging body.. and I'm going to diss her too.

    Idiot Friends 1 through 6: Fred! Fred! Fred!..

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  4. I can't make up my mind about who is the biggest looser in this set-up, fred or his friend. I think my vote goes for the friend.

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  5. Sadly, I think Sawyer is right, this will probably be told by Fred and Joseph for years to come as The Awesomest Thing They Did Ever.

    Probably the best way to save face would have been not to react at all, and not give them any more fuel for the fire, but I get that that would have taken a possibly superhuman amount of restraint given the situation.

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  6. Shattering, I'm pretty sure the biggest "looser" is you and your inability to spell correctly. I could forgive a typo here or there, but your consistency in misspelling such a simple fucking word has me believe that you're doing it on purpose. The others will tell you: YOUR OPINION IS INVALIDATED IF YOU CAN'T FUCKIN SPELL YOUR INSULTS CORRECTLY.

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  7. Claire (And Nikki) - Really? Because i thought the biggest ''looser'' was infact you. You read that story like you do with every other story on this site, daily. You then spend a WHOLE paragraph's worth of time dissing Shatter for spelling loser wrong. You sir, need a life and a new hobby.

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  8. ^ Says the person who has been commenting on stories that were written months/years ago. Seriously, you leave comments on stories from 2009 for fuck's sake! And you're saying Nikki has no life? At least she's not leaving comments on stories that have been irrelevant for YEARS.

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  9. this has almost happened to me but on the phone by his so called best friend..I told him I thought he is (the ex) the least manly I ever met, the most cowardly, and ball-less (if that's even a word haha)and that better, nicer and much hotter guys are waiting out there for me lol and I did date one later :D

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  10. oh and I did accept his fb friend request and keep ignoring his messages lol

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