6/07/2011

Wack Christmas

Story Submitted by Patrick:

One early December, I took Cora out for a first date. Everything went well until she asked me, "What are the plans for Christmas?"

I told her that I was going to be out of state with my family. She said, "Ooh, where are we going?"

"We?"

"As in you and me."

I said, "I don't think that you're coming with me. We only just met."

She replied, "Oh, so you're going to see your girlfriend. I get it."

I shook my head. "I don't have a girlfriend. If I did, I wouldn't have asked you out for tonight. It's just going to be my family and I."

She smiled and said, "Okay." She didn't mention anything else about it, and I considered the matter a minor misunderstanding that was closed.

We spoke several times after the date, during the ensuing weeks. It was the end of the year, and it was tough for us to make plans with each other. Ultimately, it was agreed that we would meet up after the new year.

I was with my family out of state for the Christmas week, when after dark on Christmas Eve, the doorbell rang. My aunt answered it, and then I heard her call my name from the door.

When I arrived, I found myself face-to-face with Cora.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, "How did you know I was here?"

My aunt excused herself. Cora slipped her arms around me and said, "See? We're together for Christmas after all."

I unhooked her arms from around me and I again asked, "How the hell did you find me?"

She asked, "Does it matter? I'm here for Christmas, and now we'll be together, forever!"

I stared into her crazy eyes and then said, "No, we're not. For the last time, how did you find me, here?"

She said, "Let me stay with you for Christmas and I'll tell you."

I thought for a second, and I was tempted to let her stay (even though it wasn't really up to me, I'd have had to have asked my aunt and uncle), but then she made my decision for me:

She said, "We can make our first child, starting tonight. A beautiful Christmas child."

I paused in blank, shocked thought for a moment, then pushed her gently but irresistibly toward the door. I said,'"Yeah, you have to go. Sorry."

"No! No!" she said, but I was firm, and I shut the door between us. She rang the doorbell a few more times, sent me some obsession-saturated text messages, and finally stopped contacting me a week or so later.

What's even creepier is that the family I was visiting lived about 200 miles away. To this day, I have no idea how Cora tracked me there.

12 comments:

  1. I have nothing to comment besides "O_o"

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  2. ^ Who's to say that he even had a Facebook? We don't even know when this story took place. Even if he did write, "I'm going to *state/city/town* for Christmas, did he post the exact address? Doubtful.

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  3. I'm actually not really surprised. Based on things he might have told her on the first date and in their subsequent conversations, it is entirely feasible that she tracked his aunt and uncle's house via some simple internet sleuthing.

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  4. Maybe she just followed him when he drove there (assuming he drove).

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  5. So have we all agreed to skip over the extra layer of creepiness added by "We can make our first child, starting tonight. A beautiful Christmas child."? Because I'm completely okay with that.

    Ways she could have tracked him. Assuming he didn't say; "Oh yes, they live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane"

    Without internet
    1. He told her what town he was going to, she used a phonebook/information to get the rest

    2. Followed him (unlikely that she followed him and waited until Christmas Eve to say she was there)

    3. Hired a P.I. or did some sleuthing herself in public records to get a rough family tree, and then used something like method 1 to get the address

    4. Super creepy sleuthing, including going through your stuff and getting your phone records (but could be as mundane as checking your answering machine [pre-internet means pre-cell phones too]

    With Internet
    1. Search Engine (I won't say Google, because I use Bing [and because I am still enough of a math nerd to immediately think 10^100 when people say it] so there)

    Baby Crazy Bitches Be Crazy

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  6. That ho-ho-ho could have rode your north pole, dude!

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  7. I dunno, man. "What are we doing for Christmas?" on a first date would have made me quietly scratch her off my mental date list.

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  8. ^This.

    Also, I would like to nominate this for the "Craziest Bitch (so far) On ABCOTD" award! I mean, we've had some good contenders, but bros and hoes, driving 200 miles to spend Christmas Eve with someone you've just met/stalked and asking to make a Christmas baby is pretty damned hard to beat.

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  9. "She smiled and said, "Okay." She didn't mention anything else about it.... "

    And that is where the plotting began...

    How 'Crazy to Her Cora' got the address information is irrelevant - It's what she did WITH that information that is creepy.

    "...and now we'll be together, forever!" Yikes !

    ReplyDelete

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