6/17/2011

They Didn't Have Spare Candles in the Old Days?

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Story Sent in by Phillip:

Zoe and I had been on one date already, a light dinner affair. It went well, and she invited me to her house for a homemade, candlelit dinner for date number two. I was excited about it, and when I arrived at her rather large house in a well-to-do neighborhood, she led me into her dining room.

A single candle, placed in a candlestick in the center of a long wooden table, was the huge dining room's only light. She had set up our place settings at either end.

"Have a seat," she said, "Dinner's almost ready." I sat down in the dark room while she exited to attend to dinner.

A few minutes later, she returned with two bowls of soup. She placed one in front of me and then sat down with hers, at the far end of the table. With only the single flickering candle, I could barely see her at all, much less my meal.

"Mind if I turn on a light?" I asked.

She replied, "Then it wouldn't be a candlelit dinner anymore, would it?"

"No, but I can't really see you."

"Your eyes will adjust."

They did, a little bit, and we chatted for a few minutes. Then, the candle went out, dropping us into darkness. I waited a moment or two for her to relight it, but all I heard was the sound of her spoon in her soup bowl and of her slurping the soup.

I stood up, felt my way to a light switch on the wall, and turned it on. Zoe screamed and covered her face with her arms. "Augh! What are you doing? It's a candlelit dinner!"

"It was pitch black!" I said, "Were we seriously going to eat in the dark?"

"That's what a candlelit dinner is! In the old days, if a candle went out, it went out! Turn the lights off! Now! Now!"

I did. She said, "Now, sit back down. We can still talk and converse in the dark."

I asked, "How about another candle? Or at least relighting this one?"

"Jesus Christ!" she yelled, then stood up and made for the kitchen. There was a terrific crash and a scream and her voice shouting, "The blood! Oh God!"

"What can I do?" I asked, but she was apparently up on her feet and out of the room. I took the opportunity to turn the lights on. There was no sign of anything broken anywhere in the room, so perhaps she had just walked herself into a wall. I called for her one more time, then sat down and finished my soup.

Twenty minutes went by, and she hadn't returned. I called for her a few more times, took a quick walk around the downstairs rooms, wrote her a hasty note, and left. Never heard from her again.

9 comments:

  1. Maybe she had a really big zit...

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  2. I don't get it - she walked into the kitchen, screamed something about blood, so OP turned on the light in the *dining room*, saw nothing and decided there was nothing to worry about?

    OK yes, twenty minutes later he checked the other rooms. A bit late maybe...

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  3. I was under the impression that she shouted out while still in the dining room. It's the only room of the house where blood would make sense, although I'm completely making that up.

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  4. Not quite entirely believable.

    Even psycho chicks don't eat in pitch darkness... right?

    ...right?

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  5. Honestly, you'd think it would freak her out to be in a pitch-dark room with a man she hardly knows.

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  6. How do you own a large house, in a nice neighborhood, with a large dining room table, and not have at least 2 nice candlestick holders for two nice tall candles for your candlelit dinner?

    Also, if you only have one candle, and it goes out, you're clearly not "lit" anymore whatsoever, so you're having a darkness dinner (which is in fact a cool restaurant idea if you're willing to go to one, if you've never heard of one; http://travel.spotcoolstuff.com/unusual-restaurants-eating-in-the-dark)

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  7. I was thinking that she didn't want to turn the lights on because she had actually broken into the home.

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  8. ^Great idea. Or that he was ugly but she was too lonely to turn down a second date.

    ReplyDelete

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