6/13/2011

Soon to Be Seen on America's Most Wanted

Profile Sent in by Andre:

(Andre says: "Everything else in this woman's profile, including her photos, seemed neat and normal.  It wasn't until a certain category that it delved into unexpected territory.")


The first things people usually notice about me

My smile!  I have a big one and I try to use it as often as possible!


Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

I'm pretty dark.  I like books about death: dealing death and receiving it.  Especially dealing it, as whoever deals the most lives forever and that is the goal of all humans.  Favorite books are the Art of War, and any book about killing.  Who doesn't want to live forever?  That's my goal. 

Movies about killing are also great.  The more the better.  I feel myself becoming a little bit stronger with each one watched.

Music is never good enough for me.  Even death metal is laughable.  I stay away from anything except for true screamy industrial.  And early Ozzie.

I like eating, but seeing other people eat annoys me.  When I see a human gorging on a fatburger it makes me want to puke all over the place.


The six things I could never do without

Hand sanitizer, my bed, my computer, my cat, windex, absorbent sponges...

10 comments:

  1. Especially the puke part. Can't wait to see the 12-month calendar.

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  2. "whoever deals the most lives forever"

    Oh my... this sounds like a wonderfully well adjusted person.

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  3. I wonder what it is that she uses her smile for exactly...

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  4. Well S., windex by itself may seem strange, but then windex AND absorbent sponges together make sense when you consider the rest of her profile information listed above.

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  5. Wonder what her parents were like...

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  6. Man, I really want to see a picture of this person.

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  7. S.: Haven't you ever seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding?" Windex cures everything and solves all problems.

    I want to believe this woman is just a 14-year-old trollbaby. Why would she be on a dating site (possibly for "normal" people) if this is something she'd list in her profile?

    ReplyDelete

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