6/29/2011

Photo Finish

Story Sent in by Lamar:

Erica and I met online, and we shared a lot of the same interests: photography, poetry, and especially being out of the city on weekends.  She told me that she was planning a trip to the mountains over a forthcoming weekend, and to my surprise, she invited me along.

Thinking that it would be a great opportunity to interact, as well as demonstrate our mutual interests, I agreed to the plan, and we took the risky decision to travel up together, in one car.  Her car.

Our first hour in the car together went well.  We talked about our families, our academic experiences, and each other's artwork. 

"A partner and I started a small publishing outfit right when I graduated college," she said, "but my partner, who had all the business connections, up and died on me.  So I moved on."

"Sorry to hear," I said, "You were unable to continue the business afterward?"

Erica slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road.  She asked, "Okay, what the fuck did you mean by that?  That I'm somehow unable to make it on my own?"

"No.  You said that you moved on after your partner died.  I'm just curious as to why you didn't continue with the company."

She stared out the windshield for a little while, then pulled back onto the road.  She didn't say anything for a while, then asked me, "You feel like telling me about your artwork, or is it just going to be me pulling teeth the whole time?"

I talked about my photography, my writing, and the few exhibitions I was lucky enough to have had.  She slipped back into a good humor, and I guessed that the issue we had was just a misunderstanding.  We arrived at the mountain park, took out our cameras, and walked a trail, snapping shots of birds, vistas, and trees.  We had lunch, and then continued on.  So far, so good.

That was, until, she asked to look at some of my pictures.  I scrolled through the images I had taken with my digital camera.  After I showed her about three dozen, she said, "No pictures of me?"

I replied, "It hadn't occurred to me.  You might have thought that it was weird."

She groaned and replied, "You clearly don't want to be here with me!  How could I have been so stupid!  Come on.  Let's go."

She turned back to the car.  I followed close behind and said, "One thing has nothing to do with the other!  I thought we were here to snap shots of the park, not each other.  If you want me to get some shots of you, then I will–"

"Too late," she reprimanded me, "We're going home now.  Right now."

Sure as that, we made it back to her car, and pulled away from the mountains.  I tried making conversation a few more times, but she was clearly incensed, and so I dropped it after a short while.

Once we made it back inside the city limits, she pulled over to the side of the road.  She said, "We're back.  Get out."

I said, "My place is across town from here."

"Not my problem," she replied, "You should thank me for being nice enough to drop you off this close.  Get out."  I did, and she sped off, hardly waiting for the door to close.

That night, she called me up and I let it go to voicemail.  She said, "I can't believe that you haven't called to apologize for ruining the day.  I'm still waiting for that thank you, for dropping you back off in town, when I clearly didn't have to.  Anyone would agree with me."

How about it?  Anyone agree?

11 comments:

  1. I would agree with her...way to be an asshole, asshole

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  2. She probably just dropped you off so she could follow you home and stalk you without being overt

    She's got some hot pics of you in front of your computer too

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  3. I agree she's a megacunt!

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  4. You left out the conversation at lunch:

    Her - "I left my Diet Chocolate Shasta open and left to 'powder my nose' and you didn't even try to slip me a roofie!"

    You - "Um, yeah?"

    Her - "Obviously you think I'm not physically attractive enough to take advantage of. You think I'm fat!"

    You - "Um, no?"

    Her - "Here's a roofie. I would let you put it in my drink, but you're too late. I am disappoint."

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  5. Good thing that bullet missed.And I agree with churro, she was a megacunt.

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  6. I agree that separate cars are ABCotD must.

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  7. Not only didn't you take any photos of her, but you also omitted to try to catch fish, and break the rod in frustration at not being able to prove your manly nature.

    Loser.

    You should have walked off and let her search for you for hours, then refuse to let her take you back. After which you could have called her and berated her for leaving you there.#

    *Anyone* would agree with me.

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  8. WOW a megacunt doesn't even come close to describing Erica. OP next time don't agree to going out of town for a first date, most sane women would never suggest that to someone they haven't even met. Lesson learned and thankfully you found out right away that she is batshit crazy.

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  9. GOOD LORD, LAMAR.

    What's a girl gotta do to get a guy out in the woods, let him stalk around behind her for hours, and NOT get any good pictures out of it?! She was probably bending over flirtatiously or leaning against trees, desperately posing, but you had to take the "I don't like girls" route and take pictures of BIRDS. *sigh*

    She knew about your secret camp in the woods where you take all the girls you like enough to carve and take graphic photos of. I guess she just wasn't SPECIAL ENOUGH for you. *sniff*

    You deserved to be abandoned in a completely different city. Her overwhelming generosity at dropping you off at the CORRECT city went completely unappreciated.

    Team Megacunt.

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  10. I was kinda thinking she had murdered the first partner who 'up and died' because I watch too many episodes of Snapped.

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