6/03/2011

Aho

Story Sent in by Gertie:

Ben took me out for sushi on our first date. We sat down, he spun the menu around to face me, and said, "I know this can all be a little confusing. I'll explain it to you: sushi and sashimi are two different things. Sushi is—"

I interrupted him with a smile and said, "I've had sushi before. I appreciate it, but you don't have to explain it to me."

He looked at me, then turned back down to the menu and said, "Sushi comes with rice, sashimi doesn't. Now, there's hamachi, which is yellowtail, maguro, which is tuna, unagi, which is—"

"Ben," I cut in, "I know. It's really okay. I've had sushi before."

He waited a moment, took a deep breath, and went on, "Unagi is eel. Now, it'll be served with pink stuff and green stuff. The pink stuff is—"

"Ginger," I finished, "And the green is wasabi."

He waited a moment, then said, "The pink stuff is pickled ginger, and the green stuff is wasabi. You probably don't want to try the wasabi, since it's very hot—"

"I love wasabi," I said, "But thanks for the warning."

"The wasabi is hot and can be used to flavor your dining experience either on the fish itself or in the soy sauce. For you, I recommend the tuna roll or the California roll, to start."

I glanced at the menu and said, "I was actually checking out the maki. There's a good-looking rainbow roll and a—"

"For you, I recommend the tuna roll or the California roll. Start easy, see if you like it."

I said, "Have you been listening to anything I've been saying? I've had sushi a hundred times. I told you over the phone that I liked it. It was my suggestion, remember?"

He gave me a good, long look and finally said, "Wow. What a bitch you are."

I froze, collected my thoughts, said, "Goodnight," and left him there.

He sent me a text a day later that said, "Hey, sorry about last night. We should try sushi sometime."

I'll be sure to do that.

14 comments:

  1. Massive cognitive dissonance: it's all the rage these days.

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  2. He shouldn't have stood under that pear tree.

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  3. Aarghh, I hate it when people make this mistake. Unagi is not eel, it is a state of total awareness & only those who achieve true Unagi can be prepared for any danger.

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  4. 滅茶苦茶アホな~

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  5. I like how she just left the jack-ass there.

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  6. ^^^ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unagi

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  7. LOL I love the " Wow, what a bitch you are." That was fucking hilarious!

    picklesinmyass.blogspot.com

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  8. "I'll ask you not to interrupt me while I'm in the middle of my lecture. If you have any questions, kindly wait until the end of the class."

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  9. Sawyer was referencing Friends... a very hilarious episode too, I might add.

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  10. My guess is the guy had not ever HAD sushi and was trying to impress her. Sounds like he had memorized a monologue and was, thus, thrown whenever she said anything that contradicted his assumption she knew as little about sushi as he did. LAME.

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  11. ^^^^^ (Baku-chan)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=md-zDIxNht4

    Hilarious episode indeed Connie. "Wow. What a bitch you are." I think he expects his dates to know absolutely nothing and be in awe of his general knowledge.

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. D'oh! In my defense I never actually watched Friends.

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