5/21/2011

A Rapturous Liar

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Story Submitted by Dorri:

I was out to dinner with Jeremy, a guy I met online, and it was pretty clear that there wasn't any chemistry.  He was a bit shorter than advertised, wore a too-unbuttoned shirt, and had a habit of constantly licking his top row of teeth while giving me a sultry look.  No thanks.

Despite that, I did my best to maintain a good conversation with him, but somehow or other, he turned it to his abilities as a love-maker.

He said, "You might find that I'm a great fuck."  I laughed, and at the same time planned my escape from this strange man.  He went on, "I can prove it."

"I would rather you didn't," I said.

He replied, "Not with you.  I wouldn't touch you for a million bucks.  I meant with other women.  Point to any woman in here.  Go on."

I scanned the room and pointed to a couple, having dinner at a table about 15 feet away.  At once, Jeremy stood, ran his hand through his hair, and walked over to them.  I watched as he spoke to them both in a quiet voice, the man and woman traded looks, then Jeremy turned and pointed to me, and they both looked at me and smiled.  Then the man said something I couldn't hear to Jeremy, and Jeremy walked back to the table with a big smile.

I said, "You're still in one piece."

He replied, "I told them that I was a great fuck and that you didn't think I was.  Now they both want to have sex with me, and we're going to as soon as we all leave the restaurant."

"Uh-huh.  What did you really tell them?"

"What I just said."

The other couple finished their dinner first, and they stood up.  The man came over to our table and said to us, "We appreciate the offer, but I think we'll pass."

"What offer?" I asked him.  He glanced at Jeremy, who might have turned a shade paler.  The man said, "The offer for a foursome."

"Pfffft!" I laughed out loud and pointed at Jeremy.  "You're a liar!"

The man watched this, then put his hands up and said, "I'm out.  Have a good night."  He turned, joined his companion, and presumably left.

As for Jeremy, he didn't say a word to me for the rest of our extremely short dinner.  He silently paid the bill, I thanked him, finished my drink, and left.

6 comments:

  1. I think the best part about this story is they apparently did consider the offer of a foursome, since they didn't say no right away or throw something at him, so good for you OP, you're good looking enough to consider having a foursome with

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  2. Considering what she had to work with from the guy part of the equation I have to agree.

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  3. "I was out to dinner with Jeremy, a guy I met online, and it was pretty clear that there wasn't any chemistry. He was a bit shorter than advertised, wore a too-unbuttoned shirt, and had a habit of constantly licking his top row of teeth while giving me a sultry look. No thanks."

    Because chemistry is totally based on what he looks like!

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  4. OP, why weren't you insulted when he said he wouldn't touch you for a million bucks? If he wouldn't touch you for a million bucks, then apparently he didn't feel any chemistry either or at least was trying to make you think so.

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  5. Fat chicks on dates don't get insulted.

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  6. "You might find that I'm a great fuck."

    "Nope! Bye!"

    ReplyDelete

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