5/26/2011

Friday Night Headlights

Story Sent in by Mary:

Steve wrote me an email over a dating site, and we spoke for about a month before our first date.  He and I were to meet at the local train station, as he had planned to take it in a few stops to meet me.

I waited for him on the platform, and when he saw me, he gave me a big hello, then put his arm over his eyes and reeled back.  "Oh shit, I'm blind!" he said.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He backed into a wall and said, "Turn those high beams off!  I'm serious!  I'm dying!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed.  "Steve, cut it out."

He removed his arm from his eyes, then looked at my chest again and repeated the process.  "Oh God!  Those high beams!  Sweet jerky!"

Perhaps he thought that he was complimenting me.  I didn't take it as one, though, and decided to give him one more shot to salvage the date.  I waited for him to complete his performance.

Finally, he removed his arm from his eyes again, apologized, and didn't say another word about my chest…

…for one whole minute.  Before we reached the end of the parking lot, he said, "I just can't get over your tits."

I replied, "And you never will.  Bye."  I hurried to my car and drove off without him.

10 comments:

  1. I had me some sweet jerky once. Never again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ok, if nobody else is going to, I'll ask: OP, how big are your tits?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Damn Lulu beat me to it. But I'll ask again, how big are they?

    ReplyDelete
  4. 36-D for D-licious?

    Hey, he could have been really rude and tried to hang his coat on your nipples

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think the OP was wearing a set of Bully Blinders from The Goonies.

    "Only problem: batteries don't last so long."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pending knowledge of Bust size and shirt/blouse/dress worn, I wont accept that Steve's reaction was inappropriate

    ReplyDelete
  7. Agreed.

    Further required scientific details include but are not limited to: pencil-test results, both underboob and overnipple; whether or not a brassiere was adorned, and if so, design and style of said undergarment; and approximate ambient temperature on the train platform at time of incident.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fat chick date. No guy who really wanted a chance with a regular chick would behave this way. Fat chicks get all the disrespect. Fat chicks go out with the losers hoping someone will work out well enough to date.

    ReplyDelete

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