Story Submitted by Bridget:
Will and I were out to dinner on a first date. It wasn't clear to me from our pre-date conversations, but he had a chip on his shoulder against the government. To sum up his views, every president works for a shadow organization of ultra-powerful businessmen, the government was behind 9/11, and currency should not be backed by anything other than gold and silver.
He seemed a bit bitter, and despite a few minor disagreements that I voiced (and that he was quick to shoot down), I simply nodded at everything that he said and played ignorance.
When the time came to pay the check, I pulled out my wallet and he pulled out his. That was fine. What wasn't fine was when he pulled out three bills from his wallet, all of which were the size of paper bills, but were actually crayon pictures with dollar amounts scrawled onto them.
He said, "That's a lot on my part, but the service was good."
I asked him, "What are those?"
He said, "Oh, my currency. Worth more than U.S. toilet paper, that's for sure. Mine's backed by actual gold and silver."
I picked up the paper strips. One of them had a picture that looked like himself locked in combat with a bald eagle. I put it down and said, "I don't think they're going to accept this."
He said, "You'd be surprised how people's minds can be opened."
The waitress came by and we handed her the bills, my American ones and his from made-up-ville. She looked at his and said, "I'm sorry, we can't accept these."
He replied, "Mine are backed by gold and silver." He pointed at me and went on, "Hers are backed by nothing."
The waitress stared at him, caught like a deer in headlights. I said, "Hey Will, maybe if you give her the gold and silver that your bills are worth then she'd consider that legal tender."
Will said, "Sorry. I don't carry gold and silver on me."
I asked him, "How can you call your currency backed by something if she has no means to exchange it for what you say it's backed by?"
He said, "Not my problem. Blame the U.S. government."
The waitress put the check back on the table and said, "I'll let you guys work this out."
Will said, "Her problem for being blind. Ready to go?" He stood up and hastily put on his jacket.
I asked, "We're just going to leave her half the check?"
He said, "Your bills are worthless."
I said to him, "I'll meet you outside. I'm going to run to the bathroom."
He left, and I wrote down his name and number for the waitress. I wasn't about to pay his half, but I wanted some justice to be done. I slipped it into the check and met him outside, whereafter I made some excuse and went home.
He asked me out again after that, but I declined the offer. I'm not sure if the restaurant ever followed up with him, but I've since heard that he got into some legal trouble for conspiracy.
Story Submitted by Bridget: