Story Submitted by John:
Adrienne told me during our first date dinner that she didn't want to have sex until marriage.
I asked her, "Are you a virgin?"
She laughed and said, "Ha! No. I'm responsible for deflowering three guys, my senior year of high school."
I must have given her a look that said, "You're a slut," because she said, "But I'm not like that anymore. I'm waiting until marriage."
Well, I thought, nothing wrong with turning over a new leaf. And anyway, who was I to judge?
She pulled out her wallet and showed me photos of ten different guys. The last photo sleeve was blank.
"For my husband," she said.
"I don't understand," I told her, "Are these all previous husbands?"
She laughed and said, "God no. They're my boys. Guys I've... you know."
"You keep photos in your wallet of guys you've slept with?"
"You think that's weird?"
"Yeah. It kind of is."
She said, "Oookay," and slipped the wallet away. "You're a prude."
"Let's talk about something else."
"Whatever, prude," she said, and looked away.
"You write, don't you?."
She played with her fork. "Whatever, prude."
"And you write poetry? Or just prose?"
"Whatever, prude."
"I wouldn't fuck you with my worst enemy's dick."
"Fuck you," she said, then stood up and muttered, "You haven't heard the last of me," then took off.
That was the last I've heard of her.
9 comments:
Gotta love those last two lines.
-Meaningless angry exit comment!
-Complete and utter rebuttal.
She has some nerve calling him a prude when she says she wanted to wait for marriage...
"I wouldn't fuck you with my worst enemy's dick."
Dude...worst line ever.
Of course you would. You would have banged her that night, the next night or even tonight if given that chance. I have a feeling you are a tad inexperienced in the dating department.
I just had a flash of how fat my wallet would be if I did that.
^ hahaha....safe to say, as fat as the partners you had! Or did you mean phat?
Let me state for the record I have never used the word phat.
And no, my wallet would be gorgeous yet generally unsatisfying if it were based on your theory, Mr. Feltersnatch.
I've always preferred "I wouldn't fuck you if my cock was on fire and your cunt was full of water."
^Nice one!
And Howie, I disagree. Anyone who comes right out and says, "I'm not going to have sex with you; I'm going to wait until I get married, but oh, hey, I used to be a HUUUUUUUGGGGEEEEEEEE slut" is NOT someone that I would want to sleep with.
Maybe you're just more desperate than the rest of us. ;p
Nine guys is not that slutty. Just sayin'
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