Story Submitted by Angeline:
David and I were friends from college who stayed in touch over IM and e-mail. We both lived in different parts of the country, and always promised each other that we'd meet up. However, for several years after graduation, circumstances always prevented it.
Finally, I received an e-mail from David. It contained the line, "I'm divorced! WOO HOO!"
As I've said, he and I had been in touch on a pretty regular basis, so his mention of a divorce, much less a marriage to begin with, was a bit of a shock. He wrote that he was planning to do some traveling, and asked if I'd want to meet up if he passed my way. It seemed as though we had a lot to catch up on, so we made plans for dinner.
A few weeks later, he called to let me know that he was in town, and if I could give him a place to stay for a day or two. I didn't have a problem with helping a friend, and I looked forward to seeing him.
When he did see me, he gave me a big hug and said, "Guess what? I'm divorced!" and slapped me five. "Let the night of debauchery commence."
I had a feeling that he wanted more than just a friendly meeting, but I had a lot of questions for him. He explained that he married before he was ready, didn't tell me about it because, according to him, he didn't tell almost anybody about it, and how the whole thing was just a scam, on the part of his former spouse.
"Thanks for letting me stay," he said, "I brought special pajamas for the occasion."
Having caught up at dinner, he offered to buy wine and suggested watching a movie back at my place. Throughout the night, he had been especially touchy feely and it made me uncomfortable.
During the film, he tried to put the moves on me. It might have been the wine talking, but he said that he had always liked me and wished that he had married me instead of the woman he had married. He also said that he didn't want to tell me about his marriage because he would've had an affair with me. How charming!
He left the room to put on his pajamas. He came back with a too-tight, too-short shirt and no pants.
I nearly fell off the couch and I looked away. "For God's sake, put some pants on!" I said.
"It's okay," he said, "It's nothing to be afraid of."
"Put your pants on!" I repeated, now shaking a bit.
He asked, "Why? We'll just be taking then off again in a minute." he sat down next to me and I jumped off the sofa.
"I will not be sleeping with you," I told him, "So put some pants on right now."
He smiled as if I was kidding, then left the room and returned wearing no shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. We watched the rest of the movie in uncomfortable silence, I set him up on the couch, went to bed, and locked my door.
He was out of the house before I woke up, and had written me an apology note. The PS read, "Sorry about the couch." I looked at my couch and found nothing immediately wrong. I lifted a cushion to find a curious stain.
Story Submitted by Angeline: